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Bill Maher

Bill Maher Quotes

Comedian

Bill Maher is an American comedian, political commentator, and television host. Known for his sharp political satire and humor, he is best recognized for hosting ABC's 'Politically Incorrect'. Born on January 20, 1956, Maher's career spans television, film, and stage performances, as well as writing and producing.

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Famous Bill Maher Quotes

“The Republicans released their 'Pledge to America.' It's 21 pages of phony charts and bad ideas. Sarah Palin got a copy, and she said, 'How am I supposed to fit all this crap on my hand?”

Said Ideas Hands America Fit Republican Pages Copies Crap Pledge Bad Ideas Palin Phony

Author:Bill Maher

“Hey birthers, wanna hear my theory? My theory was that Obama was born in America and you were born with the umbilical cord around your neck.”

America Born Theory Hey Necks Cords Umbilical Cord

Author:Bill Maher

“Only 42 percent of Republicans believe Obama was born in the United States. That's an amazing statistic. How come in America Christians are the only ones who won't take anything on faith?”

Believe States Christian America Born United United States Republican Percent

Author:Bill Maher

“I want to just take a moment to thank the Teabaggers. Thank you so much for helping us pass health care, for resurrecting the Obama presidency. I know they're saying, 'Why are you thanking me? I was so against it, I marched on Washington with tea bags hanging off my Founding Fathers costume, with a gun on my hip and a picture of Obama dressed as Hitler, screaming about his birth certificate.' And America saw that and said, 'I think I'll go with the calm black man.'”

Thinking Knows Men Want Said Moments Helping Care America Father Black Saws Birth Gun Calm Hips Tea Health Care Bags Presidency Costumes Founding Certificates Birth Certificate Tea Bag

Author:Bill Maher

“Again, (America is) a stupid country with stupid people who don't pay attention.”

People Country America Pay Attention Stupid Pay Attention Stupid People

Author:Bill Maher

“What a day for the Tea Party people. Did you see that? America's parks and fairgrounds were lost in a sea of man-boobs. They were venting their anger and rage against taxes, which, of course, in most cases for them went down. Protesting their taxes went down, but you know, why let the truth spoil a perfectly good Klan rally.”

People Knows Men America Courses Lost Party Cases Sea Taxes Rage Tea Parks Spoil Tea Party Perfectly Good Venting

Author:Bill Maher

“Which is why I'd like to tip off law enforcement to an even larger child-abusing religious cult. Its leader also has a compound, and this guy not only operates outside the bounds of the law, but he used to be a Nazi and he wears funny hats. That's right, the Pope is coming to America this week and ladies, he's single!”

Children America Law Used Guy Religious Leader Week Bounds Used To Be Hats Pope Nazi Cult Law Enforcement Enforcement This Guy Compounds Coming To America Religious Cults

Author:Bill Maher

“When people say to me, 'You hate America,' I don't hate America. I love America. I am just embarrassed that it has been taken over by people like evangelicals, by people who do not believe in science and rationality. It is the 21st century. And I will tell you, my friend. The future does not belong to the evangelicals. The future does not belong to religion.”

People Believe Doe Has Beens America Hate Taken Century My Friends Embarrassed 21st Century Rationality Don't Hate

Author:Bill Maher

“Unemployment is down, confidence is up, DOW 5,000 above Bush - or as Republicans put it, let's talk about gay people and abortion!”

People America Political Politics Economic Confidence Republican Gay Economics Usa Abortion Lgbt Unemployment Gay People Funny Political

Author:Bill Maher

“Oh, America! I could never leave you! You're like my dog, dumb as a post but you make me laugh!”

America Laughing Dog Dumb Posts My Dog Make Me Laugh You Make Me Laugh

Author:Bill Maher

“When did the business community in America become so sensitive? ... that we have to treat like some type of rare exotic animal - don't startle them or they'll fly away!...we need to soothe them so they can nest here and lay their magic eggs full of jobs! - WHICH NEVER HATCH BY THE WAY!!!”

Way Needs Jobs America Community Animal Magic Type Treats Lays Sensitive Eggs Nests Exotic Fly Away Exotic Animals

Author:Bill Maher

“In America, you’re allowed to justify almost any kind of bigotry, sexism, or intolerance if you source it to God’s big book of bad ideas.”

Ifs Kind Book Ideas Bigs America Source Justify Bigotry Sexism Intolerance Bad Ideas Big Book

Author:Bill Maher

About the Author

Born: January 20, 1956
Known for: Comedian
Quotes: 792

Related Topics

People Ifs Thinking Knows Republican Said America Want Country President Way Men Believe Week World Years Religion Guy Needs Humor

Popular Topics

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Books & Sources

The New New Rules: A Funny Look at How Everybody but Me Has Their Head Up Their AssRelated source material

When You Ride Alone You Ride with Bin Laden: What the Government Should be Telling Us to Help Fight the War on TerrorismRelated source material

New Rules: Polite Musings from a Timid ObserverRelated source material

Does Anybody Have a Problem with That?: Politically Incorrect's Greatest HitsRelated source material

Does Anybody Have a Problem with That?: The Best of Politically IncorrectRelated source material

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