“Don't ever have two dogs. That way you won't know which one to blame.” KnowsWayTwoDogBlameTwo Dogs Author:Bob Newhart
“In today's world, you would call my father mostly unaccessible. I'm not sure that isn't true of most fathers at that time. He went through the Depression. I don't know what that would have done to my psyche.” KnowsWorldDoneTodayFatherNot SureToday's World Author:Bob Newhart
“You never know when you'll come upon something and it's going to be fodder for new material.” KnowsMaterialsFodder Author:Bob Newhart
“Doormen are kind of invisible, people don't know their names. They just say, Thank you, or Good morning. I'd never thought about doormen before. They're a vanishing breed. More electronic doors are being introduced.” PeopleKnowsKindNamesMorningDoorsInvisibleSaying Thank YouVanishing Author:Bob Newhart
“I don't know how many sacred cows there are today. I think there's a little confusion between humor and gross passing for humor. That's kind of regrettable.” ThinkingKnowsKindLittlesHumorTodayKnow HowComedySacredPassingPassingsConfusionCowsGrossSacred Cows Author:Bob Newhart
“Well, if you’re a native Chicagoan, you know how dumb he [Dr. Robert Hartley] is. He gets on the Ravenswood El, he goes past his stop on Sheridan Road, he gets off in Evanston, where the El is on the ground, and then he walks back 55 blocks to his apartment. Now, would you want to have that man as a psychologist? A man who misses his stop every day?” IfsKnowsMenWantWellsPastWalksKnow HowMissingBlockDumbNativeApartmentDrsPsychologist Author:Bob Newhart
“The only thing I have never done is a Broadway play. I'm not sure I have the discipline necessary to do a Broadway play. I know it holds a fascination for certain actors.” KnowsDonePlayCertainActorsComedyDisciplineNot SureBroadwayFascination Author:Bob Newhart
“I really don't know what makes a comedian. I think it's a family background and environment. Yet if you put the same ingredients in another person, he may never utter a funny line.” IfsThinkingKnowsMayPersonsLinesEnvironmentBackgroundsComedianIngredientsFamily Background Author:Bob Newhart