Quotessence
Home / Books / Dear Ijeawele, or a Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions

Dear Ijeawele, or a Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions

Book by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie · 31 quotes · Feminism, Parenting, éGalité

Filter quotes by topic

AllFeminismParentingéGalitéFéminismeFeministChildrenEqualityFeminism QuotesFeminist AuthorsFeminist QuotesGender RolesGrandirPaternitéEnfantInégalitésInspirationInspirationalMalheurMotherhoodAccomplissement

Dear Ijeawele, or a Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions Quotes

“Feminism and femininity are not mutually exclusive. It is misogynistic to suggest that they are. Sadly, women have learned to be ashamed and apologetic about pursuits that are seen as traditionally female, such as fashion and makeup. But our society does not expect men to feel ashamed of pursuits considered generally male - sports cars, certain professional sports. In the same way, men's grooming is never suspect in the way women's grooming is - a well-dressed man does not worry that, because he is dressed well, certain assumptions might be made about his intelligence, his ability, or his seriousness. A woman, on the other hand, is always aware of how a bright lipstick or a carefully-put-together outfit might very well make others assume her to be frivolous.”

WomenFeminismFashionMakeupMisogynyFemininity
Book:Dear Ijeawele, or a Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions
Create image

“But remember that you might do all the things I suggest, and she will still turn out to be different from what you hoped, because sometimes life just does its thing. What matters is that you try. And always trust your instincts above all else, because you will be guided by your love for your child.”

LoveLifeChildrenParentingFeministInstincts
Book:Dear Ijeawele, or a Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions
Create image

“Many girls think of the 'feelings' of those who are hurting them. This is the catastrophic consequence of likeability. We have a world full of women who are unable to exhale fully because they have for so long been conditioned to fold themselves into shapes to make themselves likeable.”

SocietyFeminismSelf ActualizationGender Norms
Book:Dear Ijeawele, or a Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions
Create image

“If the justification for controlling women's bodies were about women themselves, then it would be understandable. If, for example, the reason was 'women should not wear short skirts because they can get cancer if they do.' Instead the reason is not about women, but about men. Women must be 'covered up' to protect men. I find this deeply dehumanizing because it reduces women to mere props used to manage the appetites of men.”

ParentingMotherhoodDress Codes
Book:Dear Ijeawele, or a Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions
Create image

“I prefer Ms. because it is similar to Mr. A man is Mr. whether married or not, a woman is Ms. whether married or not. So please teach Chizalum that in a truly just society, women should not be expected to make marriage-based changes that men are not expected to make. Here’s a nifty solution: Each couple that marries should take on an entirely new surname, chosen however they want as long as both agree to it, so that a day after the wedding, both husband and wife can hold hands and joyfully journey off to the municipal offices to change their passports, driver’s licenses, signatures, initials, bank accounts, etc.”

Ms
Book:Dear Ijeawele, or a Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions
Create image

“Les filles sont conditionnées pour aspirer au mariage, mais pas les garçons, ce qui entraîne dès le départ un déséquilibre. Les filles deviennent des femmes qui sont obnubilées par le mariage, les garçons deviennent des hommes qui ne sont pas obnubilés par le mariage. Les femmes épousent ces hommes. La relation est automatiquement inégale, parce que l’institution compte plus aux yeux de l’une que de l’autre.”

MalheurInégalitésMariageFillesAttentesGarçons
Book:Dear Ijeawele, or a Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions
Create image

“Chudi ne t’ « aide » pas quand il s’occupe de son enfant. Il fait ce qu’il est censé faire. Quand nous disons que les pères « aident », nous suggérons que s’occuper des enfants est un territoire appartenant aux mères, dans lequel les pères s’aventurent vaillamment. Ce n’est pas le cas. Tu imagines le nombre de personnes qui seraient aujourd’hui plus heureuses, plus stables, et qui contribueraient bien mieux à la société si leur père avait participé activement à leur enfance ?”

BonheuréGalitéEnfantPaternitéMaternité
Book:Dear Ijeawele, or a Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions
Create image

“Chudi ne mérite nulle louange ou gratitude particulières, et toi non plus d’ailleurs : vous avez tous les deux choisi de mettre un enfant au monde, et la responsabilité de cet enfant vous appartient à tous les deux à parts égales. Ce serait différent si tu étais mère célibataire, que ce soit par choix ou par la force des choses, parce que tu n’aurais pas alors la possibilité de « faire les choses ensemble ». Mais tu ne devrais pas agir en « mère célibataire » si tu n’en es pas réellement une.”

éGalitéEnfantResponsabilitéPaternité
Book:Dear Ijeawele, or a Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions
Create image

“Je me souviens que, petite, on me disait de « me baisser comme il faut pour balayer, comme une fille ». Ce qui signifiait que balayer était un truc de fille. J’aurais préféré qu’on me dise simplement : « baisse-toi et balaie comme il faut, parce que le sol sera plus propre ainsi. » Et j’aurais préféré qu’on dise la même chose à mes frères.”

FéminismeéGalitéGrandir
Book:Dear Ijeawele, or a Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions
Create image

“There are people who say, 'Well, your name is also about patriarchy because it is your father's name.' Indeed. But the point is simply this: whether it came from my father or from the moon, it is the name that I have had since I was born, the name with which I travelled my life's milestones, the name I have answered to since the first day I went to kindergarten in Nsukka on a hazy morning and my teacher said, 'Answer "present" if you hear your name. Number one: Adichie!'.”

FeminismPatriarchyNameLast NameName Changes
Book:Dear Ijeawele, or a Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions
Create image

“Teach her about difference. Make difference ordinary. Make difference normal. Teach her not to attach value to difference. And the reason for this is not to be fair or to be nice but merely to be human and practical. Because difference is the reality of our world. And by teaching her about difference, you are equipping her to survive in a diverse world. She must know and understand that people walk different paths in the world and that as long as those paths do no harm to others, they are valid paths that she must respect. Teach her that we do not know – we cannot know – everything about life. Both religion and science have spaces for the things we do not know, and it is enough to make peace with that. Teach her never to universalise her own standards or experiences. Teach her that her standards are for her alone, and not for other people. This is the only necessary form of humility: the realisation that difference is normal.”

InspirationalFeminismDiversityEquality
Book:Dear Ijeawele, or a Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions
Create image