“Fucksocks! It’s Chet the huge shaved vampyre cat, down on the street. He looks bigger, and I think he ate a meter maid. Her little cart is running and there’s an empty uniform on the curb. Bad kitty!” HumorAbbyVampire Kitties Book:Bite Me Source: Bite Me
“Like last year I took Advance Foods class (which is like cooking for nerds) after lunch, and so I usually took a nap. Which was fine, because I'm not even thrilled about regular foods, so, you know, what do I need with like advanced digital HD wi-fi foods and whatnot? -Abby” KnowsNeedsYearsLastsClassFineCookingDigitalLunchLast YearNerdNapsAbby Author:Christopher Moore
“And he was like "The sedative in the blood, blah, blah, four hours, blah, blah, nerdspeak, geektalk -" -Abby” HoursFourBloodBlahAbby Author:Christopher Moore
“Abby: I could be a slave to your darkest desires. I can do things. Anything you want. Tommy: Well, that's terrific, because we have a lot of laundry piled up and the apartment is a wreck. Abby: Anything you desire, my lord. I can do laundry, clean, bring you small creatures to quench your thirst until I am worthy.” WantWellsI CanDesireCan DoLordCreaturesCleanSlaveWorthyApartmentThirstTerrificWrecksLaundryBe A SlaveQuenchAbbySmall Creatures Author:Christopher Moore
“...then he looked at my T-shirt and saw Byron's picture on it and he quoted "She Walks in Beauty," which is like my favorite poem next to the one by Baudelaire about his girlfriend being nothing but worm food, except that Lily called that one first because Baudelaire is her fave poet and so she got the shirt with him on it, even though Byron is way more scrumptious and I would do him on sharp gravel if I had the chance. --from The Chronicles of Abby Normal” IfsWayFirstsNextChanceWalksSawsPoetNormalMy FavoriteShirtsGirlfriendWormsT ShirtLiliesChroniclesGravelAbbyByronBaudelaireFave Book:You Suck Source: You Suck
“Then someone started pounding on the door. And not a little "Hey, what's up?" pound. Like there was a big sale on door pounds down at the Pound Outlet. Buy one, get one free at Pounds-n-Stuff. --Being the Journal of Abby Normal” LittlesBigsStuffDoorsNormalHeyPoundsJournalOutletsAbby Book:Bite Me Source: Bite Me
