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The Goldfinch

Book by Donna Tartt · 39 quotes · Loss, Love, Donna Tartt

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The Goldfinch Quotes

“And in the midst of our dying, as we rise from the organic and sink back ignominiously into the organic, it is a glory and a privilege to love what Death doesn’t touch. For if disaster and oblivion have followed this painting down through time — so too has love. Insofar as it is immortal (and it is) I have a small, bright, immutable part in that immortality. It exists; and it keeps on existing. And I add my own love to the history of people who have loved beautiful things, and looked out for them, and pulled them from the fire, and sought them when they were lost, and tried to preserve them and save them while passing them along literally from hand to hand, singing out brilliantly from the wreck of time to the next generation of lovers, and the next.”

“Do you have any idea why you might be feeling better?” “No, not really,” I said curtly. Better wasn’t even the word for how I felt. There wasn’t a word for it. It was more that things too small to mention—laughter in the hall at school, a live gecko scurrying in a tank in the science lab—made me feel happy one moment and the next like crying. Sometimes, in the evenings, a damp, gritty wind blew in the windows from Park Avenue, just as the rush hour traffic was thinning and the city was emptying for the night; it was rainy, trees leafing out, spring deepening into summer; and the forlorn cry of horns on the street, the dank smell of the wet pavement had an electricity about it, a sense of crowds and static, lonely secretaries and fat guys with bags of carry-out, everywhere the ungainly sadness of creatures pushing and struggling to live. For weeks, I’d been frozen, sealed-off; now, in the shower, I would turn up the water as hard as it would go and howl, silently. Everything was raw and painful and confusing and wrong and yet it was as if I’d been dragged from freezing water through a break in the ice, into sun and blazing cold.”

“I accepted all this counsel politely, with a glassy smile and a glaring sense of unreality. Many adults seemed to interpret this numbness as a positive sign; I remember particularly Mr. Beeman (an overly clipped Brit in a dumb tweed motoring cap, whom despite his solicitude I had come to hate, irrationally, as an agent of my mother’s death) complimenting me on my maturity and informing me that I seemed to be “coping awfully well.” And maybe I was coping awfully well, I don’t know. Certainly I wasn’t howling aloud or punching my fist through windows or doing any of the things I imagined people might do who felt as I did. But sometimes, unexpectedly, grief pounded over me in waves that left me gasping; and when the waves washed back, I found myself looking out over a brackish wreck which was illumined in a light so lucid, so heartsick and empty, that I could hardly remember that the world had ever been anything but dead.”

“Because I don’t care what anyone says or how often or winningly they say it: no one will ever, ever be able to persuade me that life is some awesome, rewarding treat. Because, here’s the truth: life is a catastrophe. The basic fact of existence – of walking around trying to feed ourselves and find friends and whatever else we do – is a catastrophe. Forget all this ridiculous ‘Our Town’ nonsense everyone talks: the miracle of a newborn babe, the joy of one simple blossom, Life You Are Too Wonderful To Grasp, &c. For me – and I’ll keep repeating it doggedly till I die, till I fall over on my ungrateful nihilistic face and am too weak to say it: better never born, than born into this cesspool. Sinkhole of hospital beds, coffins, and broken hearts. No release, no appeal, no “do-overs” to employ a favored phrase of Xandra’s, no way forward but age and loss, and no way out but death.”

“...until I had been forced to bite my tongue to keep from saying what I really thought: that despite the craftsmanship it made absolutely zero difference whether Kitsey chose the x pattern or the y pattern since as far as I was concerned it was basically all the same; new, charmless, dead-in-hand, not to mention the expense: eight hundred dollars for a made-yesterday plate? One plate? There were beautiful eighteenth-century sets to be had for a fraction of the price of this cold, bright, newly-minted stuff.”

“Lo so, lo so, ma ascoltami. Hai letto L’idiota, vero? Sì. Beh, L’idiota è un libro molto inquietante per me. Mi ha fatto così effetto che dopo non ho quasi più letto romanzi, a parte roba tipo ‘Uomini che odiano le donne’. Perché… provavo a intromettermi, …be’, magari me lo dici dopo, a cosa pensavi, lasciami finire di dirti perché l’ho trovato inquietante. Perché tutto quello che Myškin fa è buono… altruista… tratta tutti con compassione e comprensione e a cosa porta tutta quella bontà? Omicidi! Disastri! Una volta mi preoccupavo un sacco di questa cosa. Me ne stavo sveglio a letto di notte e mi preoccupavo! Perché – perché? Com'era possibile? Ho letto quel libro tre volte, pensando di non averlo capito. Myškin era gentile, amava la gente, era tenero, perdonava sempre, non faceva mai niente di sbagliato – ma si fidava di tutte le persone sbagliate, prendeva solo decisioni sbagliate, faceva soffrire tutti quelli che gli stavano intorno. Quel libro contiene un messaggio oscuro. “A che pro essere buoni?” Ma – questo è ciò che ho capito ieri notte, mentre guidavo. E se… se fosse più complicato di così? Se fosse vero anche il contrario? Perché se è vero che il male può discendere dalle buone azioni… dove sta scritto che da quelle cattive può venire solo il male? Magari a volte – il modo sbagliato è quello giusto? Magari prendi la strada sbagliata e ti porta comunque dove volevi? O vedila in un altro modo, certe volte puoi sbagliare tutto, e alla fine viene fuori che andava bene?”

“And I feel I have something very serious and urgent to say to you, my non-existent reader, and I feel I should say it as urgently as if I were standing in the room with you. That life—whatever else it is—is short. That fate is cruel but maybe not random. That Nature (meaning Death) always wins but that doesn’t mean we have to bow and grovel to it. That maybe even if we’re not always so glad to be here, it’s our task to immerse ourselves anyway: wade straight through it, right through the cesspool, while keeping eyes and hearts open. And in the midst of our dying, as we rise from the organic and sink back ignominiously into the organic, it is a glory and a privilege to love what Death doesn’t touch.”

“E per quanto mi piacerebbe credere che ci sia un verità dietro l'illusione, mi sono convinto che non c'è alcuna verità dietro l'illusione. Perché, tra la "relatà" da un lato, e il punto in cui la mente va a sbattere contro la realtà, esiste uno spazio sottile, uno spicchio d'arcobaleno da cui origina la bellezza, il punto in cui due superfici molto diverse tra loro si mescolano e si confondono per procurare ciò che la vita non ci dà: e questo è lo spazio in cui tutta l'arte prende forma, e tutta la magia.”

“That little guy, said Boris in the car on the way to Antwerp. You know the painter saw him-he wasn't painting that bird from his mind, you know? That's a real little guy, chained up on the wall, there. If I saw him mixed up with dozen other birds all the same kind, I could pick him out, no problem. And he's right. So could I. And if I could go back in time I'd clip the chain in a heartbeat and never care a minute that the picture was never painted.”

“Was ist, wenn einer zufällig von einem Herzen besessen ist, dem nicht zu trauen ist? Wenn dein tiefstes Inneres dich singend zum Scheiterhaufen lockt, sollst du dich dann lieber abwenden, dir die Ohren mit Wachs verstopfen, den perversen Glanz ignorieren, von dem dein Herz dir zubrüllt? [...] Oder ist es besser, dich - wie Boris - kopfüber und lachend in das heilige Wüten zu stürzen, das deinen Namen ruft?”

“Nunca he trazado una línea tan firme entre el «bien» y el «mal». Para mí esa línea a menudo es falsa. Nunca están tan desconectados el uno del otro. No pueden existir por su cuenta. Mientras actúe guiado por el amor creo que estoy haciéndolo lo mejor que sé. En cambio tú, envuelto en tus juicios, lamentando siempre el pasado, maldiciéndote a ti mismo, culpándote y preguntándote «¿Qué habría pasado si...?». «La vida es cruel.» «Ojalá hubiera muerto yo en su lugar.» Bueno, pues pregúntate esto: ¿y si todas las acciones y decisiones, buenas o malas, le traen sin cuidado a Dios? ¿Y si el patrón está predeterminado? No, no, espera, es una pregunta que vale la pena plantearse. ¿Y si son nuestros errores y nuestra maldad los que marcan el destino y nos conducen a lo bueno? ¿Y si para alguno de nosotros no es posible llegar de ningún otro modo?”

“Fallo cardíaco individual. Tu sueño, el sueño de Welty, el sueño de Vermeer. Tú ves un cuadro, yo veo otro, el libro de arte lo pone a cierta distancia, la mujer que compra la postal en la tienda de regalos del museo ve algo totalmente diferente, y eso por no mencionar a la gente de la que estamos separados por el tiempo: cuatrocientos años antes de que llegáramos nosotros u otros cuatrocientos después de que nos hayamos ido, nunca afectará a nadie del mismo modo y a la gran mayoría jamás les afectará de forma profunda, pero... un cuadro importante fluye con suficiente potencia para abrirse paso hasta la mente y el corazón a través de toda clase de enfoques diferentes, de maneras únicas y muy particulares. «Soy tuyo, tuyo. Me pintaron para ti.»”

“...for Hobie, who sorrowed over these elegant old remnants as if they were underfed children or mistreated cats, it was a point of duty to rescue what he could and then with his gifts as carpenter and joiner to recombine them into beautiful young Frankensteins that were in some cases plainly fanciful but in others such faithful models of the period that they were all but indistinguishable from the real thing. p452”

“... I was disturbed by how many of my classmates disliked Thoreau, railed against him even, as if he (who claimed never to have learned anything of value from an old person) was an enemy and not a friend. His scorn of commerce--invigorating to me--nettled a lot of the more vocal kids in Honors English. "Yeah, right," shouted an obnoxious boy whose hair was gelled and combed stiff like a Dragon Ball Z character--"some kind of world it would be if every-body just dropped out and moped around in the woods--”

“...and there she was, turning and smiling at me, at me! and there were way too many people in the theater because it was the seven o'clock show, way more people than I was comfortable with my generalized anxiety and hatred of crowded places and more people trickling in even after the show had started but I didn't care, it could have been a foxhole in the Somme being shelled by the Germans and all that mattered was her next to me in the dark, her arm beside mine.”