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The Boy Recession

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“We are in a boy recession," Eugene repeats. "There's been a sudden, drastic decrease in the male population at this school. And I'm gonna take advantage of it.”

Love Boys High School Ya Boys And Girls Teenage Romance Boy Recession

Book:The Boy Recession

Source: The Boy Recession

“I could kiss that girl. And ya know what? I will kiss that girl. As soon as I get back to school, I'm gonna grab her, and I'm gonna kiss her.”

Love Kissing High School Dating Teenagers Teenage Romance

Book:The Boy Recession

Source: The Boy Recession

“I've never had any summer lovin'. And I've never had any school year lovin', either. I've never had a boyfriend. I've never hooked up with a guy. And this morning, on my Internet browser, an article popped up about women marrying themselves. Even my wireless connection knows I'm alone.”

Loneliness High School Ya Love Life Teen Teenage Love

Book:The Boy Recession

Source: The Boy Recession

“Eugene's got a fake ID, and he actually gets away with using it because he looks like he's thirty-six, thanks to his devotion to tasseled shoes and his ridiculous carpet of chest hair.”

Humor High School Ya Beer Teen Chest Hair Fake Id

Book:The Boy Recession

Source: The Boy Recession

“My love life couldn't be more nonexistent if Julius was all all-girls' boarding school with a moat full of alligators around it.”

Love Romance High School Ya Teen Teenage Love

Book:The Boy Recession

Source: The Boy Recession

“Great. Darcy is the ruler of our school. Prety soon, Julius is going to be like Singapore - you'll get a $500 fine for chewing gum or making out in the hallways.”

High School Ya Teenage Love Making Out Singapore Website Design

Book:The Boy Recession

Source: The Boy Recession

“If you skip one class, everyone knows about it. The teacher will track you down, or one of the guidance counselors will track you down and ask if you're smoking pot. According to the geniuses running this place, the only reason you would skip class is if you're smoking pot, though I actually find my classes more enjoyable when I'm high.”

High School Pot Marijuana Teens Drugs

Book:The Boy Recession

Source: The Boy Recession

“Let me give you some advice here: People who want to have the sex talk with you will act the same way as people who want to murder you. First they get you in their car, so they're in control and you can't escape. Then they drive you someplace in the middle of nowhere.”

Love Sex High School Teenagers Sex Education Teenagers And Parents Sex Talk

Book:The Boy Recession

Source: The Boy Recession

“I've been asking around to find out what girls are into," Eugene tells me, really pleased with himself. "So I'm gonna get a spray tan and make red-velvet cupcakes.”

Romance Teenagers Teenage Love Baking Cupcakes Boys And Girls

Book:The Boy Recession

Source: The Boy Recession

“In winter this town is freezing. You step out your door in the morning and the whole place looks like one of those nature specials in which a guy brings a camcorder to the North Pole and then the camera cuts out and you hear on the news that he got eaten by a bear”

Humor Cold Winter Teens Wisconsin North Pole Cold Days

Book:The Boy Recession

Source: The Boy Recession

“So that's how we end up helping Aviva pick out a male escort. Even Darcy is impressed with Eugene's organization; each profile in the boy binder has two pictures, a head shot and a full-body shot, and lists essential information: age, school, height, weight, extracurriculars, hobbies, and dance ability (which ranges from "occasional Dance Dance Revolution participation" to "so good he could back up the Biebs").”

Romance Dating Dancing Dance Teenagers Teenage Love Prom Boys And Girls Justin Bieber Escorts Prom Date

Book:The Boy Recession

Source: The Boy Recession