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The Best of Brain Droppings

Book by George Carlin · 17 quotes · Baseball, Funny, Ifs

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The Best of Brain Droppings Quotes

“People say, 'I'm going to sleep now,' as if it were nothing. But it's really a bizarre activity. 'For the next several hours, while the sun is gone, I'm going to become unconscious, temporarily losing command over everything I know and understand. When the sun returns, I will resume my life.”

PeopleIfsKnowsNextHoursSleepSunGoneReturnActivityLosingCommandUnconsciousBizarreGoing To SleepResumes
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“And speaking of sex, the Immaculate Conception does not mean Jesus was conceived in the absence of sex. It means Mary was conceived without Original Sin. That's all it has ever meant. And according to the tabloids, Mary is apparently the only one who can make such a claim. The Jesus thing is called virgin birth.”

MeanDoeJesusSexSinBirthClaimsOriginalsAbsenceConceptionMaryVirginsTabloidsOriginal SinImmaculateVirgin BirthImmaculate Conception
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“I've begun worshipping the sun for a number of reasons. First of all, unlike some other gods I could mention, I can see the sun. It's there for me every day. And the things it brings me are quite apparent all the time: heat, light, food, and a lovely day. There's no mystery, no one asks for money, I don't have to dress up, and there's no boring pageantry. And interestingly enough, I have found that the prayers I offer to the sun and the prayers I formerly offered to "God" are all answered at about the same 50% rate.”

FirstsI CanReasonEnoughLightFunnyReligionAsksFoundPrayerNumbersSunMysteryOffersDressesRateBoringLovelyHeatPageantryLovely Day
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“I am a personal optimist but a skeptic about all else. What may sound to some like anger is really nothing more than sympathetic contempt. I view my species with a combination of wonder and pity, and I root for its destruction. And please don't confuse my point of view with cynicism; the real cynics are the ones who tell you everything's gonna be all right.”

MayRealSoundViewsWonderPleaseRootsDestructionSpeciesPoint Of ViewPityCombinationContemptCynicismOptimistSympatheticSkeptic
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