“It wasn't love at first sight. They ran into each other one morning in a sunny clearing in the forest. A few moments of stunned silence. `Glockenspiel,' Adam pronounced, thinking (but with terrible doubt) he'd found another animal in search of a name. When Eve approached him, proffering a handful of elderberries, he threw a stick at her and ran away.” FunnyBibleAdamEdenEve Book:I, Lucifer Source: I, Lucifer
“I'll tell you something,' she said. 'I'm not sure I ever really liked him.' Adam?' I said. 'I don't blame you.' 'Not Adam,' she said, struggling to swallow a greedily chomped chunk. 'God.” SaidStruggleBlameNot SureAdamChunks Book:I, Lucifer: Finally, the Other Side of the Story Source: I, Lucifer: Finally, the Other Side of the Story
“When I see gurgling retarded children (that's God's doing, by the way, not mine) happily styling their hair with their own stinking mards, I think of Adam in those pre-marital days. I know he's your great-to-the-nth-degree-granddad and all - but I'm afraid he was rather an imbecile.” ThinkingKnowsWayChildrenMinesHairDegreesAdamRetardedImbeciles Book:I, Lucifer Source: I, Lucifer
“The first thing to say about Eve is that she was a big improvement on the Adam design, or that Adam was an extremely misguided variation on the Eve design. (Consider testicles. Two concentrated nuclei of absolute vulnerability. Where? Dangling between the legs. I rest my case.)” FirstsTwoBigsCasesDesignAbsolutesLegsImprovementVulnerabilityAdamVariationMisguidedNucleusTesticles Book:I, Lucifer: Finally, the Other Side of the Story Source: I, Lucifer: Finally, the Other Side of the Story
