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The Wicked King

Book by Holly Black · 50 quotes · The Wicked King, Holly Black, The Folk Of The Air

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“I have difficulty imagining what trouble the High King got into in his own rooms, but it doesn't take me long to discover. When we arrive, I spot Cardan resting among the wreckage of his furniture. Curtains ripped from their rods, the frames of paintings cracked, their canvases kicked through, furniture broken. A small fire smoulders in a corner, and everything stinks of smoke and spilled wine. Nor is he alone. On a nearby couch are Locke and two beautiful faeries- a boy and a girl- one with ram's horns, the other with long ears that come to tufted points, like those of an owl. All of them are in an advanced state of undress and inebriation. They watch the room burn with a kind of grim fascination. ... 'Carda-' I remember myself and sink in to a bow. 'Your Infernal Majesty.' He turns and, for a moment, seems to look through me, as though he has no idea who I am. His mouth is painted gold, and his pupils are large with intoxication. Then his lip lifts in a familiar sneer. 'You.' 'Yes,' I say. 'Me.”

“Taryn seemed well enough tonight,' he says. 'Roses in her cheeks and merriment on her lips.' 'Let's be sure she stays that way,' I say. His brows rise. 'Would you like me to seduce her away from Locke? I could certainly try. I promise nothing in the way of results, but you might find amusement in the attempt.' 'No, no absolutely not, do not do that,' I say, and do not examine the hot spike of panic his words induce. 'I just mean try to keep Locke from being his worst self when she's around, that's all.' He narrows his eyes. 'Shouldn't you encourage just the opposite?' Perhaps it would be better for Taryn to discover unhappiness with Locke as soon as possible. But she's my sister, and I never want to be the cause of her pain. I shake my head. He makes a vague gesture in the air. 'As you wish. Your sister will be wrapped in satin and sackcloth, as protected from herself as I can make her.' I stand. 'The council wants Locke to arrange some amusement to please Grimsen. If it's nice, perhaps the smith will make you a cup that never runs out of wine.' Cardan gives me a look up through his lashes that I find hard to interpret and then rises, too. He takes my hand. 'Nothing is sweeter,' he says, kissing the back of it, 'but that which is scarce.' My skin flushes, hot and uncomfortable.”

“Cardan steps close to me, his gaze devouring. I am not sure I can bear his cutting me down again. Luckily, he seems at a loss for words. 'I hate you,' I whisper before he can speak. He tilts my face to him. 'Say it again,' he says as the imps comb my hair and place the ugly stinking crown on my head. HIs voice is low. The words are for me alone. I pull out of his grip, but not before I see his expression. He looks as he did when he was forced to answer my questions, when he admitted his desire for me. He looks as though he's confessing.”

“Cardan was left to be suckled by a little black cat whose kittens came stillborn.' 'He survived on cat milk?' I exclaim. ... I think again of the globe I held in Eldred's study, of Cardan dressed in rags, looking to the woman in my chamber for approval, which came only when he was awful. An abandoned prince, weaned on cat milk and cruelty, left to roam the palace like a little ghost.”

“Sometimes I think about Cardan when I am lying there. I think about what it must have been like to grow up as an honoured member of the royal family, powerful and unloved. Fed on cat milk and neglect, To be arbitrarily beaten by the brother you most resembled and who most seemed to care for you. Imagine all those courtiers bowing to you, allowing you to hiss and slap at them. But no matter how many of them you humiliated or hurt, you would always know someone had found them worthy of love, when no one had ever found you worthy. ... I would be stupid to think I knew Cardan's heart from his story. But I wonder at it. I wonder what would have happened if I'd admitted he wasn't out of my system.”

“I slip in to Cardan's room. Though it is not yet dawn, I am lucky. The room is empty of revelry. No courtiers doze on the cushions or in his bed. I walk to where he sleeps and press my hand over his mouth. He wakes, fighting against my grip. I press down hard enough that I can feel his teeth against my skin. He grabs for my throat, and for a moment, I am scared that I'm not strong enough, that my training isn't good enough. Then his body relaxes utterly, as though realizing who I am. He shouldn't relax like that. 'He sent me to kill you,' I whisper against his ear. A shiver goes through his body, and his hand goes to my waist, but instead of pushing me away, he pulls me in to the bed with him, rolling my body across him on to the heavily embroidered coverlets. My hand slips from his mouth, and I am unnerved to find myself here, in the new High King's new bed- one I am still too human to lie in, beside someone who terrifies me the more I feel for him. 'Balekin and Orlagh are planning your murder,' I say, flustered. 'Yes,' He says lazily. 'So why did I wake up at all?' I am awkwardly conscious of his physicality, of the moment when he was half awake and pulled me against him. 'Because I am difficult to charm,' I say. That makes him give a soft laugh. He reaches out and touches my hair, traces the hollow of my cheekbone. 'I could have told my brother that,' he says, with a softness in his voice I am utterly unprepared for.”

“I have thought and thought since you were gone, and there is something I wish to say.' Cardan's face is serious, almost grave, in a way that he seldom allows himself to be. 'When my father sent me away, at first I tried to prove that I was nothing like he thought me. But when that didn't work, I tried to be exactly what he believed I was instead. If he thought I was bad, I would be worse. If he thought I was cruel, I would be horrifying. I would live down to his every expectation. If I couldn't have his favour, then I would have his wrath. 'Balekin did not know what to do with me. He made me attend his debauches, made me serve wine and food to show off his tame little prince. When I grew older and more ill-tempered, he grew to like having someone to discipline. His disappointments were my lashing, his insecurities my flaws. And yet, he was the first person who saw something in me he liked- himself. He encouraged all my cruelty, inflamed all my rage. And I got worse. 'I wasn't kind, Jude. Not to many people. Not to you. I wasn't sure if I wanted you or if I wanted you gone from my sight so that I would stop feeling as I did, which made me even more unkind. But when you were gone- truly gone beneath the waves- I hated myself as I never have before.' I am so surprised by his words that I keep trying to find the tick in them. He can't truly mean what he's saying. 'Perhaps I am foolish, but I am not a fool. You like something about me,' he says, mischief lighting his face, making its planes more familiar. 'The challenge? My pretty eyes? No matter, because there is more you do not like and I know it. I can't trust you. Still, when you were gone I had to make a great many decisions, and so much of what I did right was imagining you beside me, Jude, giving me a bunch of ridiculous orders I nonetheless obeyed.' I am robbed of speech. He laughs, his warm hand going to my shoulder. 'Either I've surprised you or you are as ill as Madoc claimed.”

“I have thought and thought since you were gone, and there is something I wish to say.' Cardan's face is serious, almost grave, in a way that he seldom allows himself to be. 'When my father sent me away, at first I tried to prove that I was nothing like he thought me. But when that didn't work, I tried to be exactly what he believed I was instead. If he thought I was bad, I would be worse. If he thought I was cruel, I would be horrifying. I would live down to his every expectation. If I couldn't have his favour, then I would have his wrath. 'Balekin did not know what to do with me. He made me attend his debauches, made me serve wine and food to show off his tame little prince. When I grew older and more ill-tempered, he grew to like having someone to discipline. His disappointments were my lashing, his insecurities my flaws. And yet, he was the first person who saw something in me he liked- himself. He encouraged all my cruelty, inflamed all my rage. And I got worse. 'I wasn't kind, Jude. Not to many people. Not to you. I wasn't sure if I wanted you or if I wanted you gone from my sight so that I would stop feeling as I did, which made me even more unkind. But when you were gone- truly gone beneath the waves- I hated myself as I never have before.' I am so surprised by his words that I keep trying to find the trick in them. He can't truly mean what he's saying. 'Perhaps I am foolish, but I am not a fool. You like something about me,' he says, mischief lighting his face, making its planes more familiar. 'The challenge? My pretty eyes? No matter, because there is more you do not like and I know it. I can't trust you. Still, when you were gone I had to make a great many decisions, and so much of what I did right was imagining you beside me, Jude, giving me a bunch of ridiculous orders I nonetheless obeyed.' I am robbed of speech. He laughs, his warm hand going to my shoulder. 'Either I've surprised you or you are as ill as Madoc claimed.”

“The Roach clasps his hand on the back of my neck with a laugh. 'You did good, kid, you know that? You came out of the sea even tougher than you went in.' I have to look down because I am surprised by how much I wanted to hear someone say that. When I glance back up, Cardan is watching me carefully. He looks stricken. I shake my head, to keep him from saying whatever he's thinking.”

“His raven's-wing hair falls over one eye. 'So, are we at war?' For a moment, I think he is talking about us. 'No,' I say. 'At least not until the next full moon.' 'You can't fight the sea,' Locke says philosophically. Cardan gives a little laugh. 'You can fight anything. Winning, though, that's something else again.”

“I follow him behind the throne and off the dais, where a small door is set against the stone wall, half hidden by ivy. I've never been here before. Cardan sweeps aside the ivy, and we go in. It is a small room, clearly intended for intimate meetings and assignations. Its walls are covered in moss, with small glowing mushrooms climbing them, casting a pale white light on us. There's a low couch upon which people could sit or recline, as the situation called for. We are alone in a way we have not been alone for a long time, and when he takes a step toward me, my heart skips a beat.”

“You shouldn't be alone,' I say, because if the Undersea is going to strike, then we must not give it any easy targets. 'Not tonight.' Cardan grins. 'I hadn't planned on it.' The offhand implication that he's not alone most nights bothers me, and I hate that it does. 'Good,' I say, swallowing that feeling, though it feels like swallowing bile. 'But if you're planning on taking someone to bed- or better yet, several someones- choose guards. And then have yourselves guarded by more guards.' 'A veritable orgy.' He seems delighted by the idea.”

“You could still be lying,' says the Roach. He turns to Cardan. 'Try her.' 'Your pardon?' Cardan says, drawing himself up, and the Roach seems to suddenly remember whom he's speaking in such an off-handed way. 'Don't be such a prickly rose, Your Majesty,' the Roach says with a shrug and a grin. 'I'm not giving you an order. I'm suggesting that if you tried to glamour Jude, we could find out the truth.' Cardan sighs and walks toward me. I know this is necessary. I know that he doesn't intend to hurt me. I know he can't glamour me. And yet I draw back automatically. 'Jude?' he asks. 'Go ahead,' I say. I hear the glamour enter his voice, heady and seductive and more powerful than I expected. 'Crawl to me,' he says with a grin. Embarrassment pinks my cheeks. I stay where I am, looking at all their faces. 'Satisfied?' The Bomb nods. 'You're not charmed.”

“Mother Marrow gestures to the soup, and I, who can afford no more enemies, bring it to my lips. It tastes of a memory I cannot quite place, warm afternoons and splashing in pools and kicking plastic toys across the brown grass of summer lawns. Tears spring to my eyes. I want to spill it out in to the dirt. I want to drink it down to the dregs.”

“You put a curse on that girl over there,' I tell him. 'Fix her immediately.' 'She admired my ears,' the boy says. 'I was only giving her what she desired. A party favour.' 'That's what I'm going to say after I gut you and use your entrails as streamers,' I tell him. 'I was only giving him what he wanted. After all, if he didn't want to be eviscerated, he would have honoured my very reasonable request.”

“I guess I don't know my daughter very well. Because the Jude I knew would cut out that boy's heart for what he did to you tonight.' At the shame of having the revel thrown in my face, I snap. 'You let me be humiliated in Faerie from the time I was a child. You've let Folk hurt me and laugh at me and mutilate me.' I hold up the hand with the missing fingertip, where one of his own guards bit it clean off. Another scar is at its centre, from where Dain forced me to stick a dagger through my hand. 'I've been glamoured and carried in to a revel, weeping and alone. As far as I can tell, the only difference between tonight and all the other nights when I endured indignities without complaint is that those benefited you, and when I endure this, it benefits me.' Madoc looks shaken. 'I didn't know.' 'You didn't want to know,' I return.”

“A drop of the bloodred liquid of the blusher mushroom , which causes potentially lethal paralysis. A petal of deathsweet, which can cause a sleep that lasts a hundred years. A sliver of wraithberry, which makes the blood race and induces a kind of wildness before stopping the heart. And a seed of everapple- faerie fruit- which muddles the minds of mortals.”

“I start back, only to find the maze has changed itself around. The paths are not where they were before. Of course. It can't just be a normal maze. No, it's got to be out to get me. ... 'I will slice my way clean through you,' I say to the leafy walls. 'Let's start playing fair.' Branches rustle behind me. When I turn, there's a new path. 'This better be the way to the party,' I grumble, starting on it. I hope this doesn't lead to the secret oubliette reserved for people who threaten the maze.”

“I pass trays of spun-sugar animals, little acorn cups filled with wine, enormous sculptures of horn, and a stall where a bent-backed woman takes a brush and draws charms on the soles of shoes. It takes some wandering, but I finally find a collection of sculpted leather masks. They are pinned to a wall and cunningly shaped like the faces of strange animals or laughing goblins or boorish mortals, painted gold and green and every other colour imaginable.”