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Agnes and the Hitman

Book by Jennifer Crusie · 19 quotes · Agnes Crandall, Breakfast, Pancakes

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Agnes and the Hitman Quotes

“What were you saying, Agnes?" Taylor said, his smile widening. "I was saying you're an evil moron whom fate and karma are going to take care of," Agnes said. "Now your line is 'Who's Fate and Karma, and what did I ever do to them?'" "That's not funny," Taylor said. Agnes looked at Mr. Harrison. "I thought it was a little funny, didn't you?" "A little," he said, smiling. Taylor glared at him and he shrugged.”

FateKarma
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“Okay, here's my last word: Nobody shoots anybody tonight. We're a team now, one big happy family. We need each other. If everybody shows up here tomorrow breathing and with all working body parts, and I do mean everybody, I'll make breakfast. Anything you want. But if anybody hurts anybody else on the team, I'm going to be upset. Understand?" Joey and Frankie looked in different directions. "And nobody wants Agnes upset," Shane said. Joey and Frankie nodded. "Good." Agnes shoved her chair back. "Now let's all get some sleep. And somebody check on Garth, please." "I'll check on the lad," Frankie said, getting up. "You're not fucking Irish," Joey said, getting up to go with him. "Family," Agnes said, steel in her voice. "I can't wait for the holidays," Xavier said, and left them to their slumbers.”

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“So. Cake. Chocolate raspberry?" "The cupcakes," Agnes said, concentrating on the important stuff, since the gunfire seemed to have stopped. "I know that's your favorite, Maria, but the cake has to be strong enough to support the fondant, and that one's pretty delicate. It'd be wonderful served with raspberry sauce at the rehearsal dinner, though. The raspberry sauce is in the silver bowl. The heart-shaped cakes are Italian cream cake and the round ones are pound cake, which is the only kind I'm positive will hold up the fondant. The square ones are a coconut pound cake that I'm trying out.”

FlavorsCupcakesWedding CakeRaspberryFondant
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“Wow," Agnes said, looking at her bridge. "Was it good for you?" Lisa Livia said. "It was good for me." "That bridge was built for tanks," Shane told Agnes proudly. "It'll take your wedding traffic and then some. It's even better than what you had." "Thank you," Agnes said to him, trying not to sound hero-worship-y. "But it's temporary," Lisa Livia said, leaning on Carpenter a little. Carpenter put his arm around her. "And I'm thinking the price is right," Agnes said, and sipped her coffee as Shane settled his arm around her. "And my mother is going to have a stroke," Lisa Livia said. "It's a beautiful bridge," Agnes said, and tried to forget all the hell swirling around her and the need to be practical and not get hurt. She could be smart tomorrow. Tonight she had a bridge and she was holding on to him.”

BridgeTurned OnSexual InnuendosInsinuationsAgnes And Shane
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“My court-appointed psychiatrist says I should vent my anger in nonviolent physical excercise." She smacked him in the chest again, and he winced and caught her wrists. "You know, Agnes, that's not the hottest thing any woman has ever said to me." She yanked her wrists free and pounded her fists into his chest again, then let go of his shirt to strip off her dress and throw it on the floor. He stopped frowning. "Course, it's not the worst thing any woman has ever said to me, either.”

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“Then Agnes came out the front door and down the steps with a tray of drinks, dark curls bouncing and red-rimmed glasses sliding down her nose again, wearing some kind of red dress with straps that tied on her shoulders and a skirt that whipped around her legs in the breeze, and Shane's thoughts jumped track until she led the other two women around the side of the house to the gazebo. Agnes had damn good legs. And a great back. One pull on those ties- And she'd smiled at him, standing there in the morning sunlight. Might have been an invitation. Might not have been, too. Probably should make sure before he started untying things.”

Sexual AttractionRed DressAgnes Crandall
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“I've got you, Agnes," Taylor said, not fazed in the slightest. "You had me, Taylor," Agnes said. "Now you've got Brenda, you poor, doomed sap. And Joey 'The Gent' and Shane after your ass. You better go now. Your flunky is out in his van, and his feet are turning to ice while you wait. At any minute now, he's going to tear up that report and go somewhere far away until the wedding is over." "Nah, he-" "And Shane's coming home any minute." Taylor looked over his shoulder.”

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