Quotessence
Home / Authors / Jennifer Crusie Books
Jennifer Crusie

Jennifer Crusie Books

Author

Bet Me

A source page for quotes linked to Jennifer Crusie.

0 quotes

Faking It

A source page for quotes linked to Jennifer Crusie.

0 quotes

Manhunting

A source page for quotes linked to Jennifer Crusie.

0 quotes

Maybe This Time

A source page for quotes linked to Jennifer Crusie.

0 quotes

Fast Women

A source page for quotes linked to Jennifer Crusie.

0 quotes

Tell Me Lies

A source page for quotes linked to Jennifer Crusie.

0 quotes

Anyone But You

A source page for quotes linked to Jennifer Crusie.

0 quotes

Crazy for You

A source page for quotes linked to Jennifer Crusie.

0 quotes

Wild Ride

A source page for quotes linked to Jennifer Crusie.

0 quotes

Related Quotes

“Heartache often drives us to consume things we wouldn't otherwise, such as an entire pint of Caramel Pecan Perfection high-fat ice cream, covered in ganache, the crack cocaine of frozed dairy. Twelve hundred calories per pint, six hundred and eighty of which are fat calories, but is only dulls the pain for the moment, there's that carb fog while you're standing at the sink shoving it in your face, and then it's over and you feel...used. Like a cheap pickup the Dove people seduced and abandoned in your kitchen, leaving you with sticky hands and an empty cup and a still-broken heart, except now you're mad at Dove, too.”

HumorHeartache
Author:Jennifer Crusie
Create image

“Emilio appeared with wine before Cal could say anything, and Min beamed at him, grateful for the rescue. "Emilio, my darling. I forgot to mention cake boxes. Two hundred cake boxes." "Already on it," Emilio said. "Nonna said you'd need them. She said to get four-inch-square boxes for three-inch-square cakes." "I'm getting the boxes," Min said, nodding. "Sure. Great. Fine. Your grandmother is an angel and you are my hero. And of course, a genius with food." "And you are my favorite customer." Emilio kissed her cheek and disappeared back into the kitchen. "I love him," she told Cal. "I noticed," Cal said. "Been seeing him behind my back, have you?" "Yes," Min said. "We've been having conversations about cake." "Whoa," Cal said. "For you, that's talking dirty.”

HumorBet MeJennifer Crusie
Book:Bet Me
Create image

“I'll be right behind you" behind her? Thirty-two steps with him looking at her butt? "No, you wont." "Look, it's late, i'm tired, can we just-" "it'll be a cold day in hell when you follow me up those steps. You want to go up, you go first." "Why?" he said mystified "you're not looking at my rear end all the way up that hill." Cal sighed and took the first step. "wait a minute. Now you'll be looking at my butt all the way up the steps." "yes but you probably have a great butt," Min said. "it's an entirely different dynamic.”

Humor
Book:Bet Me
Create image

“What were you saying, Agnes?" Taylor said, his smile widening. "I was saying you're an evil moron whom fate and karma are going to take care of," Agnes said. "Now your line is 'Who's Fate and Karma, and what did I ever do to them?'" "That's not funny," Taylor said. Agnes looked at Mr. Harrison. "I thought it was a little funny, didn't you?" "A little," he said, smiling. Taylor glared at him and he shrugged.”

FateKarma
Book:Agnes and the Hitman
Create image

“[…] I have a date this afternoon." "Oh, Lord." Jake closed his eyes. "Who are you going to destroy now?" "I beg your pardon?" "The hotel would appreciate it if you'd just throw back the men you don't like without maiming them." "I haven't maimed anyone." "You almost drowned Lance, you scared Peter into heart palpitations, you stabbed Donald with a fork, and you hit Brad over the head with a bottle." Jake shook his head. "And they still ask you out.”

HumorMen And WomenDating
Book:Manhunting
Create image

“I suppose you had to," Wes said when Phin went back to join him at the table. "Pretty much. She seduced me." "Yeah, right," Wes said. "She said, 'Please fix the kitchen drain,' and you interpreted that--" "She said, 'Fuck me.' " Phin put two balls on the table and picked up his cue. "I interpreted that to mean she wanted sex." "Oh." Wes picked up his cue. "That would have been my call, too." He squinted at the table. "Why would she have said that?" "On a guess? Because she wanted sex.”

HumorSex
Book:Welcome to Temptation
Create image

“Okay, here's my last word: Nobody shoots anybody tonight. We're a team now, one big happy family. We need each other. If everybody shows up here tomorrow breathing and with all working body parts, and I do mean everybody, I'll make breakfast. Anything you want. But if anybody hurts anybody else on the team, I'm going to be upset. Understand?" Joey and Frankie looked in different directions. "And nobody wants Agnes upset," Shane said. Joey and Frankie nodded. "Good." Agnes shoved her chair back. "Now let's all get some sleep. And somebody check on Garth, please." "I'll check on the lad," Frankie said, getting up. "You're not fucking Irish," Joey said, getting up to go with him. "Family," Agnes said, steel in her voice. "I can't wait for the holidays," Xavier said, and left them to their slumbers.”

Happy FamilyAnger And AttitudeAgnes CrandallOne Big
Book:Agnes and the Hitman
Create image

“Dont shave,I like it..It helps with one of my new fantasies." "Yeah ?"Zack shifted a little to the center on top of him for maximum pleasure."What new fantasy is that ?" Lucy grinned,the sleepiness in her smile melting into guile."The one about the innocent schoolteacher and the vicious,uncivilized cop.Want to play ?" "Sure."Zack ran his hands up her back."Who do you want to be ?" "I,of course will be the innocent schoolteacher"Lucy batted her eyes at him. "Which makes me the cop.All right you have the right to remain naked." Lucy laughed.”

LoveNakedCopHilarious
Book:Getting Rid Of Bradley
Create image

“Why are you offering me ten thousand dollars a month for babysitting? You didn’t pay the nannies that. It’s ridiculous. For ten thousand a month, you should not only get child care, you should get your house cleaned, your laundry done, your tires rotated, and if I were you, I’d insist on nightly blow jobs. Did you think I wouldn’t notice that you’re still trying to keep your thumb on me?”

Child CareBabysittingBlow JobNanny
Book:Maybe This Time
Create image

“He leaned on the bar. "I'm Tony. And you owe me." Okay, here we go, Liza thought, and leaned on the bar, too, mirroring him. "I owe you?" "Yes." He grinned at her. "Because of chaos theory." Liza shook her head. "Chaos theory." He moved closer to her. "Chaos theory says that complex dynamical systems become unstable because of disturbances in their environments after which a strange attractor draws the trajectory of the stress." Liza looked at him, incredulous. "This is your line?" "I am a complex dynamical system," Tony said. "Not that complex," Liza said. "And I was stable until you caused a disturbance in my environment." "Not that stable," Liza said. Tony grinned. "And since you're the strangest attractor in the room, I followed the trajectory of my stress right to you." "That's not what you followed to me." Liza turned so that her back was against the bar, her shoulder blocking him. "Give me something better than that, or I'll find somebody else to amuse myself with." From the corner of her eye, she saw the other guy, the vacant-looking blond, lean down to Bonnie. "Is she always like this?" he said to Bonnie, and Liza turned to size him up. Big. Husky. Boring. "Well, your friend isn't exactly Prince Charming," Bonnie said, giving him her best fluttery smile. He beamed back down at her. "Neither am I. Is that okay?" Oh, come on, Liza thought, and caught Tony-the-bullethead's eye. "He means it," Tony said. "Roger has no line." "After the chaos theory debacle, that's a plus," Liza said. "Poor baby," Bonnie was saying as she put her hand on Roger's sleeve. "Of course, that's okay. I'm Bonnie." Roger looked down at her with naked adoration. "I'm Roger, and you are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my life." Bonnie's smile widened, and she moved closer to him. "Which doesn't mean he's bad with women," Tony said, sounding bemused.”

Chaos TheoryPick Up LinesFirst Meetings
Book:Bet Me
Create image

“So. Cake. Chocolate raspberry?" "The cupcakes," Agnes said, concentrating on the important stuff, since the gunfire seemed to have stopped. "I know that's your favorite, Maria, but the cake has to be strong enough to support the fondant, and that one's pretty delicate. It'd be wonderful served with raspberry sauce at the rehearsal dinner, though. The raspberry sauce is in the silver bowl. The heart-shaped cakes are Italian cream cake and the round ones are pound cake, which is the only kind I'm positive will hold up the fondant. The square ones are a coconut pound cake that I'm trying out.”

FlavorsCupcakesWedding CakeRaspberryFondant
Book:Agnes and the Hitman
Create image

“The thing about women is that they got liberated too fast. They never learned to be straightforward about life because they had to sneak around for about a thousand years tricking men into doing things they wanted. So they manipulate you instead of telling you what they want, so you never know where the hell you are. And then they get mad at you and bitch.”

WomenTricksLiberationComplaintsWomen S RightsWomen S LiberationComplainSneakyWomen S Lib
Book:Manhunting
Create image

“Wow," Agnes said, looking at her bridge. "Was it good for you?" Lisa Livia said. "It was good for me." "That bridge was built for tanks," Shane told Agnes proudly. "It'll take your wedding traffic and then some. It's even better than what you had." "Thank you," Agnes said to him, trying not to sound hero-worship-y. "But it's temporary," Lisa Livia said, leaning on Carpenter a little. Carpenter put his arm around her. "And I'm thinking the price is right," Agnes said, and sipped her coffee as Shane settled his arm around her. "And my mother is going to have a stroke," Lisa Livia said. "It's a beautiful bridge," Agnes said, and tried to forget all the hell swirling around her and the need to be practical and not get hurt. She could be smart tomorrow. Tonight she had a bridge and she was holding on to him.”

BridgeTurned OnSexual InnuendosInsinuationsAgnes And Shane
Book:Agnes and the Hitman
Create image

“My court-appointed psychiatrist says I should vent my anger in nonviolent physical excercise." She smacked him in the chest again, and he winced and caught her wrists. "You know, Agnes, that's not the hottest thing any woman has ever said to me." She yanked her wrists free and pounded her fists into his chest again, then let go of his shirt to strip off her dress and throw it on the floor. He stopped frowning. "Course, it's not the worst thing any woman has ever said to me, either.”

Sex Joke
Book:Agnes and the Hitman
Create image

“Then Agnes came out the front door and down the steps with a tray of drinks, dark curls bouncing and red-rimmed glasses sliding down her nose again, wearing some kind of red dress with straps that tied on her shoulders and a skirt that whipped around her legs in the breeze, and Shane's thoughts jumped track until she led the other two women around the side of the house to the gazebo. Agnes had damn good legs. And a great back. One pull on those ties- And she'd smiled at him, standing there in the morning sunlight. Might have been an invitation. Might not have been, too. Probably should make sure before he started untying things.”

Sexual AttractionRed DressAgnes Crandall
Book:Agnes and the Hitman
Create image

“I've got you, Agnes," Taylor said, not fazed in the slightest. "You had me, Taylor," Agnes said. "Now you've got Brenda, you poor, doomed sap. And Joey 'The Gent' and Shane after your ass. You better go now. Your flunky is out in his van, and his feet are turning to ice while you wait. At any minute now, he's going to tear up that report and go somewhere far away until the wedding is over." "Nah, he-" "And Shane's coming home any minute." Taylor looked over his shoulder.”

ThreateningLowlife
Book:Agnes and the Hitman
Create image