“Heartache often drives us to consume things we wouldn't otherwise, such as an entire pint of Caramel Pecan Perfection high-fat ice cream, covered in ganache, the crack cocaine of frozed dairy. Twelve hundred calories per pint, six hundred and eighty of which are fat calories, but is only dulls the pain for the moment, there's that carb fog while you're standing at the sink shoving it in your face, and then it's over and you feel...used. Like a cheap pickup the Dove people seduced and abandoned in your kitchen, leaving you with sticky hands and an empty cup and a still-broken heart, except now you're mad at Dove, too.” HumorHeartache Author:Jennifer Crusie
“Emilio appeared with wine before Cal could say anything, and Min beamed at him, grateful for the rescue. "Emilio, my darling. I forgot to mention cake boxes. Two hundred cake boxes." "Already on it," Emilio said. "Nonna said you'd need them. She said to get four-inch-square boxes for three-inch-square cakes." "I'm getting the boxes," Min said, nodding. "Sure. Great. Fine. Your grandmother is an angel and you are my hero. And of course, a genius with food." "And you are my favorite customer." Emilio kissed her cheek and disappeared back into the kitchen. "I love him," she told Cal. "I noticed," Cal said. "Been seeing him behind my back, have you?" "Yes," Min said. "We've been having conversations about cake." "Whoa," Cal said. "For you, that's talking dirty.” HumorBet MeJennifer Crusie Book:Bet Me Source: Bet Me
“I'll be right behind you" behind her? Thirty-two steps with him looking at her butt? "No, you wont." "Look, it's late, i'm tired, can we just-" "it'll be a cold day in hell when you follow me up those steps. You want to go up, you go first." "Why?" he said mystified "you're not looking at my rear end all the way up that hill." Cal sighed and took the first step. "wait a minute. Now you'll be looking at my butt all the way up the steps." "yes but you probably have a great butt," Min said. "it's an entirely different dynamic.” Humor Book:Bet Me Source: Bet Me
“I'm fine," Kate said. "In fact, since my last two dates were so awful, things can only get better." "Bad deduction," Jessie said. "If that were true, I'd be dating Harrison Ford by now.” HumorMen And WomenLogic Book:Manhunting Source: Manhunting
“[…] I have a date this afternoon." "Oh, Lord." Jake closed his eyes. "Who are you going to destroy now?" "I beg your pardon?" "The hotel would appreciate it if you'd just throw back the men you don't like without maiming them." "I haven't maimed anyone." "You almost drowned Lance, you scared Peter into heart palpitations, you stabbed Donald with a fork, and you hit Brad over the head with a bottle." Jake shook his head. "And they still ask you out.” HumorMen And WomenDating Book:Manhunting Source: Manhunting
“First, I'm not getting married, so you can forget the wife. Second, if I was insane enough to get married, I wouldn't have kids. Third, if I was insane enough to get married and have kids, it would be a cold day in hell I'd let you babysit.” LoveHumorKidsMarriageParents Book:Bet Me Source: Bet Me
“I suppose you had to," Wes said when Phin went back to join him at the table. "Pretty much. She seduced me." "Yeah, right," Wes said. "She said, 'Please fix the kitchen drain,' and you interpreted that--" "She said, 'Fuck me.' " Phin put two balls on the table and picked up his cue. "I interpreted that to mean she wanted sex." "Oh." Wes picked up his cue. "That would have been my call, too." He squinted at the table. "Why would she have said that?" "On a guess? Because she wanted sex.” HumorSex Book:Welcome to Temptation Source: Welcome to Temptation
“You're not by any chance my stepmother are you?" Min said to her mother's reflection. "Because that would explain so much.” HumorMothers And DaughtersStepmother Book:Bet Me Source: Bet Me
“You want sensitive and understanding, stick with the therapist.You want great, headbanging sex, get off the fucking phone and come with me.” HumorSeduction Book:Welcome to Temptation Source: Welcome to Temptation
