“You don't have to do that, you know? Say all that romantic stuff," I tell him, ducking my chin down. "I get it. It's fake. Been there done that with my family, except I'm smart enough to not get caught in the 'feels' trap." He lifts my chin with his other hand. "I'm Italian. We are romantic. I simply say what I think.” RomanticItalian Book:My Big Fat Fake Honeymoon Source: My Big Fat Fake Honeymoon
“Abi snaps her fingers. "Focus, here. Now for those of us in here who are ignorant of certain facts, or pretending to be, you know who sends flowers? Men who got fucked or who fucked up." She holds up one finger and then another, giving the two options. "So, which is it? Did our mysterious Kaede fuck up so badly that he had to call my first thing this morning to order flowers? Or is your vajayjay so good that he was calling me for 'thank you for letting me into your lady cave' flowers? Which is it? Are we mad at him, because I've got a compost pile if we need to ditch his body, or is he the latest addict to the Courtney cream?” MenFlowers Book:My Big Fat Fake Engagement Source: My Big Fat Fake Engagement
“I can't believe you told Nana that you made this cake," Violet admonishes him. He shrugs, not caring in the least. "Well, I made the money that I bought it with, so that's almost the same thing. And it's good.” MoneyCakeRoss Book:My Big Fat Fake Engagement Source: My Big Fat Fake Engagement
“Lorenzo steps closer, his body a breath away from mine as he whispers, "Trust me?" I have no idea what he's asking, but I nod because what else am I gonna do? We're about to go to dinner and pretend like we're happy newlyweds with someone who could blow up my entire social circle, and likely my professional life, with a single well-placed word. Lorenzo walks me backward until my back hits the wall. I gasp, surprised. But he's not done. "Trust me," he orders softly. And with that, he picks me to straddle him and slams my back against the door with a thump. It rattles loudly behind me. "Fuck, Abigail, Quick, mia rosa. Come on my cock before your friends get here or they're going to hear me fucking you deep and hard. I want your cum on me and my cum in you while we sit at this prim and proper dinner, wife." I gasp, both at his filthy talk and the ridge of his cock pressing against my core. "Ungh." I can't make words, am barely making incoherent sounds, and Lorenzo lifts one hand from my thigh to hold my head still. He meets my eyes, one of his brows lifted pointedly. If I couldn't feel his cock, I wouldn't even know what this is doing to him. For all the fire rushing through my body and turning my brain to melted goo, he's clear-eyed and has a plan. I blink and realize what he's doing. Emily needs to think we're newlyweds, and what do newlyweds do non-stop? Fuck. Now that I've caught on, he winks at me and I smile back. He thrusts against me and I bounce on the door. "Yes, hard ... just like that," I moan. He grunts, finding a pace that is actually doing a lot for me even though I just came in the shower a bit ago. I'd be embarrassed at the wet heat of my core, but his cock jumps against me. I like that he's carried away too as he dry humps me, only hinting at what we're playacting. "Take it. Take me, Abigail," he hisses through clenched teeth. Is that for effect or is he holding the reins that tightly? "Yes, my Italian Stallion!" I cry out, clawing at his shoulders for purchase. Confusion mars his face as he mouths, "Italian Stallion?" I shake me head and whisper back, "I don't know, it just came out." He grins like that's the funniest thing he's ever heard and goes back to thrusting against me with renewed furor. "That's it, mia rosa. Are you going to come for me?" Oh shit. I am. Like I am ... for real. Any sane, rational, reasonable person would tilt their hips and move away from the power of his thrusts to save a little face. Do I? Absolutely not. If anything, I'm humping him back, riding him like the pony at my sixteenth birthday party. Don't laugh ... it was an amazing blowout. Like I'm about to have ... "Yes, yes. Right there Lorenz-ohh!" He pulls me tight against him, his cock grinding against my clit as he grunts through several short strokes and says something I don't understand in Italian. Is he? Did he? As I float back to Earth and realize what just happened, there's another knock on the door. This one is harder and louder. "Hey, Abi! We have reservations, you know?" Emily yells through the wood, literally inches away from where I just loudly came on Lorenzo's cock for real.” RealSexFakeOrgasm Book:My Big Fat Fake Honeymoon Source: My Big Fat Fake Honeymoon
“I feel like a goddess with my god claiming me for all to see. It might be pretend, it might be fantasy, but fuck, it's hot.” GoddessClaimingCouples Yoga Book:My Big Fat Fake Honeymoon Source: My Big Fat Fake Honeymoon
“Let's get ready for dinner. We've got a fake engagement to sell." I groan, knowing she's right, but for the first time, work and success aren't my priority. Courtney is. I am so fucked. I'm not, my cock chimes in with a whine. Later, I promise.” CockFucked Book:My Big Fat Fake Engagement Source: My Big Fat Fake Engagement
“I’m not freaking out. I’m turned on. I’m thinking about sniffing your bed pillows like a weirdo, contemplating if it’d be better for you to bend me over the island or the couch, and my ovaries are basically exploding—pew, pew, pew—like fireworks because you’re so good with Chunky that I can imagine you as the one of those dads who’d play tea party with your daughter. And all of that is making me hot and nervous . . . and . . . and . . . I should stop talking now.” LoveHumorRomanceLove StoryRomance NovelsRomantic ComedyAwkward MomentsForeplayHumorous SituationsOversharing Book:Drop Dead Gorgeous Source: Drop Dead Gorgeous
“What would've happened if Dad had told Abi or me to 'settle down with a good boy'?" I scoff. "Well, first off, Abi would've told him to fuck off, and you would've probably said you're too young. And then I would've killed him." She laughs. "But when he told you to, you marched right out there and got yourself a bride. Fucking overachiever.” SiblingsOverachiever Book:My Big Fat Fake Wedding Source: My Big Fat Fake Wedding
“When this all goes to shit and my best friend rightfully punches me the fuck out, takes my company, and kicks me out of his life, I'm going to remember this moment right here. The moment it all seems worth it." Her lips start to lift, and I tell myself that I'm doing the right thing. The right thing for me, for once in my damn life. "With you standing in front of me, back straight, fire in your eyes, hair a mess from my hands, and that ring on your finger. When that happens, help me remember, okay?" Courtney nods, licking her lips and moving into my space. She presses me into the counter with her body, bare tits pressed to my chest and hope in her eyes. Hope for me. For us. And it's beautiful and sweet and all I ever wanted. "It'll be okay, Kaede. It'll be finer than fine, I promise." Sure, it will. I nod, even though I don't believe her. I'm only risking ... everything. Court might lose some face, and yeah, Ross will be mad at her. But she's his sister. He'll forgive her. But he legit might kill me. I kiss her anyway, signing my own death certificate.” DeathWorth ItBest FriendCourtneyKaede Book:My Big Fat Fake Engagement Source: My Big Fat Fake Engagement
“I’m a bit of a pessimist, someone who doesn’t expect the zombie apocalypse, but at the same time, I’ve got a bugout bag ready in my SUV . . . just in case.” ComedyPessimismZombiesZombie ApocalypseComedy HumorPessimism QuotesZombie Apocalypse Humor Book:The Blind Date Source: The Blind Date