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Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

Book by Lundy Bancroft · 7 quotes · Abuse, Partners, Abusers

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Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men Quotes

“The scars from mental cruelty can be as deep and long-lasting as wounds from punches or slaps but are often not as obvious. In fact, even among women who have experienced violence from a partner, half or more report that the man's emotional abuse is what is causing them the greatest harm.”

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Book:Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
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“Physical aggression by a man toward his partner is abuse, even if it happens only once. If he raises a fist; punches a hole in the wall; throws things at you; blocks your way; restrains you; grabs, pushes, or pokes you; or threatens to hurt you, that's physical abuse. He is creating fear and using your need for physical freedom and safety as a way to control you.”

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Book:Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
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“It is not possible to be truly balanced in one's views of an abuser and an abused woman. As Dr. Judith Herman explains eloquently in her masterwork Trauma and Recovery, “neutrality” actually serves the interests of the perpetrator much more than those of the victim and so is not neutral. Although an abuser prefers to have you wholeheartedly on his side, he will settle contentedly for your decision to take a middle stance. To him, that means you see the couple's problems as partly her fault and partly his fault, which means it isn't abuse.”

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Book:Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
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