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P.J. O'Rourke Books

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“Considering what a hot, wed dog smells like, dog stew has a surprisingly savory odor To tell the truth, it tastes pretty good, like oxtail. To be perfectly honest, it's delicious. (Anything about this to my golden retriever, and I'll punch your lights out.)”

FunnyFood
Book:Holidays in Hell: In Which Our Intrepid Reporter Travels to the World's Worst Places and Asks, "What's Funny about This?"
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“I have been told by the third grade teacher that my daughter Poppet is reading at middle school level. Yet if I leave Poppet a note in block letters telling her to feed the dogs I will come home to find the dogs have been ... given a swim in the above-ground pool, dressed in tutus, provided with hair weaves. What I will not find is that the dogs have been fed. 'I thought you wanted me to free the dogs,' says Poppet whose school district is not spending quite what D.C.'s is, thanks to voter rejection of the last school bond referendum.”

ReadingFreedomHumourFeedingDogsSchoolsMiddle SchoolDaughtersThird Grade
Author:P.J. O'Rourke
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“When words were carved in stone, we got the Ten Commandments. When we had to make our own ink and chase a goose around the yard to get a quill (and before the Infite Monkey Theorem was developed), we got William Shakespeare . When the fountain pen was invented, we got Henry James. When the typewriter came along, we got Jack Kerouac. And with the Internet we get - the President of the United States on Twitter”

HumourPolitical Satire
Book:None of My Business
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“When Saint Augustine was formulating his doctrine of Original Sin, all he had to do was look at people as they are originally. Originally, they’re children. Saint Augustine may have had a previous job – unmentioned in his Confessions – as a preschool day-care provider. But it’s wrong to use infantile as a pejorative. It’s the other way around. What children display is adultishness. Children are, for example, perfectly adultish in their self-absorption. Tiny tots look so wise, staring at their stuffed animals. You wonder what they’re thinking. Then they learn to talk. What they’re thinking is, My Beanie Baby!”

Original SinAugustineConfessions
Author:P.J. O'Rourke
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