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Famous Patton Oswalt Quotes
“I think right now is the best time for stand-up, ever. I sincerely do.”
“In my mind, I was always a comedian who was going to branch into writing.”
“George Bush is not stupid. He's evil. OK? There's a huge difference between stupid and evil.”
“I had a romance novel inside me, but I paid three sailors to beat it out if me with steel pipes.”
“We would not be here if humanity were inherently evil. We'd have eaten ourselves alive long ago.”
“If you hit a midget on the head with a stick, he turns into 40 gold coins.”
“It's like our country is being run by a bunch of bad alcoholic dads right now.”
“As unhealthy as I am, I'm weirdly aware of exactly how my body functions.”
“I can't say that I ever abided nerd stereotypes: I was never alone or felt outcast.”
“I fantasize and idealize myself as Bugs Bunny, but I know deep down I'm Daffy Duck.”
“I grew up in such a featureless, personality-less suburb. There was nothing to push against.”