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“I reach for her. 'I'm so sorry I had to keep...' My words die on my tongue as she steps back, avoiding me. 'Not happening.' A world of hurt flashes in those hazel eyes, and I fucking wither. 'Just because I believe you and am willing to fight with you doesn't mean I'll trust you with my heart again. and I can't be with someone I don't trust.' Something in my chest crumples. 'I've never lied to you, Violet. Not once. I never will.' She walks over to the window and looks down, then slowly turns back to me. 'It's not even that you kept this from me. I get it. It's the ease with which you did it. The ease with which I let you into my hear and didn't get the same in return.' She shakes her head, and I see it there, the love, but it's masked behind defences I foolishly forced her to build. I love her. Of course I love her. But if I tell her now, she'll think I'm doing it for all the wrong reasons, and honestly, she'd be right. I'm not going to lose the only woman I've ever fallen for without a fight. 'You're right. I kept secrets,' I admit, pressing forward again, taking step after step until I'm less than a foot from her. I palm the glass on both sides of her head, loosely caging her in, but we both know she could walk away if she wanted. But she doesn't move. 'It took me a long time to trust you, a long time to realise I fell for you.' Someone knocks, I ignore it. 'Don't say that.' She lifts her chin, but I don't miss the way she glances at my mouth. 'I fell for you.' I lower my head and look straight into her gorgeous eyes. She might be rightfully pissed, but she sure as Malek isn't fickle. 'And you know what? You might not trust me anymore, but you still love me.' Her lips part, but she doesn't deny it. 'I gave you my trust for free once, and once is all you get.' She masks the hurt with a quick blink. Never again. Those eyes will never reflect hurt I've inflicted ever again. 'I fucked up by not telling you sooner, and I won't even try to justify my reasons. But now I'm trusting you with my life- with everyone's lives.' I've risked it all by just bringing her here instead of taking her body back to Basgiath. 'I'll tell you anything you want to know and everything you don't. I'll spend every single day of my life earning back your trust.' I'd forgotten what it felt like to be loved, really, truly, loved- it'd been so many years since Dad died. And mom... Not going there. But then Violet gave me those words, gave me her trust, her heart, and I remembered. I'll be damned if I don't fight to keep them. 'And if it's not possible?' 'You still love me. It's possible.' Gods, do I ache to kiss her, to remind her exactly what we are together, but I won't, not until she asks. 'I'm not afraid of hard work, especially not when I know just how sweet the rewards are.. I would rather lose this entire war than live without you, and if that means I have to prove myself, over and over, then I'll do it. You gave me your heart, and I'm keeping it.' She already owns mine, even if she doesn't realise it.”

“Why would you do that to him?' I hurl at Xaden, then shake my head. I don't care why. 'Forget it,' I mutter, then march off, heading back toward the spot where Tairn told me to wait. 'Because you put too much faith in him,' Xaden answers anyway, catching up to me without even lengthening his stride. 'And knowing who to trust is the only thing that will keep you alive- keep us alive- not only in the quadrant but after graduation.' 'There is no us,' I say, dodging a racer as she races past. Dragons land left and right, the ground trembling with the force of the riot's movement. I've never seen so many dragons at flight in the same moment. 'Oh, I think you'll find that's no longer the case,' ...”

“You are the smartest of your year. The most cunning.' I gulp at the compliment, brushing it off. I was trained as a scribe, not a rider. 'You defended the smallest with ferocity. And strength of courage is more important than physical strength. Since you apparently need to know before we land.' My throat tightens from his words, emotion forming a knot I have to swallow past. Oh. Shit. I hadn't spoken those words. I'd thought them. He can read my thoughts. 'See? Smartest of your year.' So much for privacy. 'You'll never be alone again.' 'That sounds more like a threat than a comfort,' ...”

“I'm going to kill him for making you come to this,' I mutter under my breath as Dain greets the king with perfect manners. 'Xaden didn't make me come.' 'What?' My gaze jumps to his. 'He'd never ask this of me. Never ask it of anyone. But I told him I would keep you safe, and that's what I'm doing, keeping you safe.' He flashes a crooked smile. 'You're a good friend, Liam Mairi. 'I rest my head on his arm. 'You saved my life, Violet. The least I can do is grin and bear it through a fucking party.' 'I'm not sure I can grin and bear it.”

“Why did you do that?' I cry, my fingers searching for purchase on his leathers to pull him closer. I settle for the back of his collar and yank. 'Why would you risk it?' Gods, if anything happened to them... His gaze collides with mine. 'That thing was going to take a chunk out of Tairn. You've saved my life and now it's my turn. No matter what you think of me for keeping secrets, we're friends, Violet.”

“Don't worry- if someone sees us, I'll just say that I was overcome with lust at first sight and couldn't wait another second to get you out of your pants.' 'Ever the smart-ass.' A wry smile tugs at his lips as we start down the hall. 'I can throw in a few oh, Dain cries once we're in your room just for believability,' I offer, and actually mean it.”

“Stand,' he says against my lips. 'Xaden.' My heart thunders. 'I fucking need you, Violet. Right now. And I don't need anyone, so I'm not quite sure how to handle this feeling, but I'm giving it my best. And if you don't want this tonight, that's fine, but I'm going to need you to walk out that door right now, because if you don't, I'm going to have you naked on your back in the next two minutes.' The intensity in his eyes and the vehemence of his words should frighten me, but they don't. Even if this man loses every ounce of his self-control, I know he'll never hurt me. Not with his body, at least. 'Walk away or stay, but either way, I need you to stand up,' he begs. 'I think two minutes might be overestimating your skills with a corset.' I glance down at my armour. He grins and lifts me from his lap. My feet hit the floor. 'I'm timing you.' 'Is that-' 'One. Two.' I hold up my fingers. 'Three.' He's on his feet in a heartbeat, and then his mouth is on mine, and I stop counting.”

“You have to go.' HIs words are clipped and at odds with the heat in his eyes, his ragged breaths. 'Why?' The cold is a shock to my system without his body heat. 'Because I can't.' He rakes both hands through his hair and leaves them on the top of his head. 'And I refuse to act on desire that isn't yours. So you have to walk back up those steps. Now.' I shake my head. 'But I want-' Everything. 'This isn't your want.' He tilts his head up at the sky. 'That's the fucking problem. And I can't leave you out here on your own, so have just a little mercy on me and go.' Silence ices over between us as I get ahold of myself. He's saying no. And the shitty part about it isn't the chill of chivalrous rejection. It's that he's right. This started because I couldn't tell Tairn's emotions from my own. But those emotions are gone, aren't they? My door is wide open, and I don't feel anything coming from Tairn's direction.”

“There's only you, Violence. Is that what you needed to hear?' I nod. 'Even when I'm not with you, there's only you. Next time just ask. You've never had a problem being bluntly honest with me.' Wind blows around us, but he's as immovable as the parapet itself. 'As I remember, you've even thrown daggers at my head, which I greatly prefer over watching you get tangled up in your thoughts. If you're going to do this, then we have to trust each other.' 'And you want to do this?' I hold my breath. He sighs, long and hard, then admits, 'Yes.' His hands slides up and caresses my cheek with his thumb. 'I can't make you any promises, Violence. But I'm tired of fighting it.' 'Yes.' One word has never meant so much to me.”

“I can't save everyone, especially not someone who isn't willing to save themselves.' 'Damn, Xaden,' Garrick rubs the bridge of his nose. 'Way to give a pep talk.' 'If they need a fucking pep talk, then we both know they're not flying out of the quadrant on graduation day. Let's get real. I can hold their hands and make them a bunch of bullshit empty promises about everyone making it through if that helps them sleep, but in my experience, the truth is far more valuable.' He turns his head, and I can only assume he's looking at the panicked first-year. 'In war, people die. It's not glorious like the bards sing about, either. It's snapped necks and two-hundreds-foot falls. There's nothing romantic about scorched earth or the scent of sulphur. This'- he gestures back toward the citadel- 'isn't some fable where everyone makes it out alive. It's hard, cold, uncaring reality. Not everyone here is going to make it home... to whatever's left of our homes. And make no mistake, we are at war every time we step foot in the quadrant.' He leans forward slightly. 'So if you won't get your shirt together and fight to live, then no. You're not going to make it.”

“You know the problem with this place?' I tug my arm back again, but he holds fast. 'Besides you touching things that don't belong to you?' My eyes narrow on him. 'I'm sure you're going to tell me.' My stomach flutters as his thumb brushes my pulse and he releases my wrist. I answer before I can think better of it. 'Hope.' 'Hope?' He tips his head closer to mine as if he wasn't sure he heard me right. 'Hope.' I nod. 'Someone like you would never get it, but I knew coming here was a death sentence. It didn't matter that I've been trained my entire life to enter the Scribe Quadrant; when General Sorrengail gives an order, you can't exactly ignore it.' Gods, why am I running off at the mouth to this man? What's the worst he'll do? Kill you? 'Sure you can.' He shrugs. 'You just might not like the consequences.' I roll my eyes and to my utter embarrassment, instead of pulling away now that I'm free, I lean in just a little, like I can siphon off some of his strength. He certainly has enough to spare. 'I knew what the odds were, and I came anyway, concentrating on that tiny percentage of chance that I would live. And then I make it almost two months and I get...' I shake my head, clenching my jaw. 'Hopeful.' The word tastes sour.”

“No, Liam,' Xaden chokes out as he crouches in front of us, the muscles in his face working to control his expression, but there's no hiding the despair that pushes at our mental connection. 'Deigh,' Liam pleads in a strangled whisper, turning his head toward Xaden. 'I know, brother,' Xaden's jaw flexes and our gazes lock above Liam as tears overflow my eyes. 'I know.' He leans forward and lifts Liam into his arms, then stands, carrying him. 'I'll take you.”

“Deigh,' Liam whispers, falling limp against Tairn's back. 'I'll get you to him,' I promise, already fumbling with the strap's buckle. 'Deigh's gone,' I cry to Xaden, my voice a trembling mess. 'Liam is dying.' 'No,' I feel his terror, his sorrow, and his overpowering anger wrap around my mind, mixing with my own until it hurts to breathe. Minutes. We have minutes. 'Just hold on,' I whisper to Liam, fighting not to cry as he looks up at me with those sky-blue eyes, wide with shock and pain. After everything Liam has given up for me, this is the least I can do for him. I can get him to Deigh the same way I know he would carry me to Tairn or Andarna.”

“I got the message to you just fine, human.' Tairn's head swivels in that snakelike motion that puts me on alert. He's more than agitated. 'And I barely made it.' The words come out clipped through clenched teeth. 'She would have been dead if I'd been thirty seconds later.' 'Seems like you had thirty seconds gifted to you.' Tairn's chest rumbles with a growl.”

“His thumbs stroke over the soft skin under my ears, and his gaze drops before he suddenly lets go and retreats a full step. 'Damn it. Touching you was a bad idea.' 'The worst.' I agree, but my tongue skims my lower lip. He groans and my core melts at the sound. 'Kissing you would be a cataclysmic mistake.' 'Calamitous.' What would it take to hear that groan again? The inches between us feel like kindling, ready to burn at the first suggestion of hear, and I'm a living, breathing flame. This is everything I should run from, and yet denying the primal attraction I feel is completely, utterly impossible. 'We'll both regret it.' He shakes his head, but there's more than hunger in his eyes as he stares at my lips. 'Naturally,' I whisper. But knowing I'll regret it doesn't stop me from wanting it- wanting him. Regretting is a problem for future Violet. 'Fuck it.' One second he's out of reach and the next his mouth is on mine, hot and insistent. Gods, yes. This is exactly what I need.”

“And since you asked so nicely.' He adjusts his stance and brings both his hands up to my cheeks, cradling my face before sliding them back to hold my head. 'Close your eyes.' 'It requires touching me?' My eyes flutter shut at the sensation of his skin against mine. 'Not at all. Just one of the perks of not thinking too clearly. You have incredibly touchable skin.”

“That hurts so wonderfully. Thank you.' He laughs, making his way up to the tense muscles of my thighs. 'Trust me, my motives aren't altruistic, Violence. I'll take any excuseI can get to put my hands on you.' The scruff on his cheeks scrapes my palms as I slide my hands down the sides of his face to cup the back of his neck. 'The feeling is more than mutual.”

“You're not going to want to see him. Not tonight, Sorrengail.' Garrick warns with a grimace. 'Self-preservation is a thing. Notice we're not with him, and we're his best friends.' 'Yeah, well, I'm his...' I open my mouth and shut it a few times because... fuck if I know what I am to him. But the longing that holds my heart hostage, this driving need to be at his side because I know he's suffering, no matter if it means throwing myself headfirst into uncertainty... I can't deny what he is to me. I kick off the leather slippers of my dress uniform- they're more of a hazard than anything, and in this wind? Well, we'll see how it goes. 'I'm just... his.”

“You don't have to worry about me.' ... 'I always worry about you.' Dain's hands curl into fists. 'Don't.' I shake my head. 'I can handle myself.' 'I just don't want to see you get hurt again.' My ribs squeeze my heart like a vice. 'Then don't watch.' I take his calloused hand in mine. 'You can't save me from this, Dain.”

“Though we probably could have waited a couple of days for my arm to heal up before doing this.' The stitches pull, but I've had worse. 'No.' He shakes his head, unsheathing one of his daggers and walking forward. 'The enemy doesn't give a shit if you're wounded. They'll use it to their advantage. If you don't know how to fight in pain, then you'll get us both killed.' 'Fine.' I shift my body weight in annoyance. Little does he know, I'm almost always in pain. It's pretty much my comfort zone. 'That's a good point, so I'll let you have it.' 'Thank you for being so gracious.' He smirks...”

“Everyone saw you lose it,' I whisper, doing my best to mentally block the pain like I have countless times before. It's usually as easy as building a mental wall around the pulsing torment in my body, then telling myself the pain only exists in that box so I can't feel it, but it isn't working so well this time. 'I didn't lose it.' He kicks the door three times when we reach it. 'You shouted and carried me out of there like I mean something to you.' I focus on the scar on his jaw, the stubble on his tan skin, anything to keep from feeling the utter destruction in my shoulder. 'You do mean something to me.' He kicks again. And now everyone knows.”

“Anyway, is it hard for you to be in here? Or is it more of a comfort thing?' ... 'It feels like coming home, but not. And it's not that it's changed- this place never changes. Hell, I think change is the mortal enemy of a scribe. But I'm starting to realise that I've changed. I don't quite fit here. Not anymore.' 'Yeah. I get that.' Something in his voice tells me he really does.”

“I was fucking terrified, Violet. There aren't adequate words.' 'I'm fine, Xaden,' she says softly, her hand rising to rest above my pounding heart. 'I thought I was going to lose you.' The confession comes out strangled, and maybe it's pushing my luck after all I've put her through, but I can't keep from leaning forward and brushing my lips over her forehead, then her temple. Gods, I'd kiss her forever if I thought it would keep the coming argument at bay, keep us in this one pristine moment where I can actually believe that everything might be all right between us, that I haven't irrevocably fucked up the best thing that's ever happened to me. 'You aren't going to lose me.' She gives me a puzzled look, smiling like I've said something peculiar. Then she leans in and kisses me. She still wants me. The revelation makes my heart fucking soar. I take the kiss deeper, swiping my tongue over her soft lower lip and gently sucking on the tender curve.”

“You'll hate me in the morning. You. Don't. Really. Want. This.' He punctuates each word with a kiss along my jaw, making his way to my ear. He bites the lobe, and my core liquifies, going molten. 'Stop telling me what I want.' I breathe raggedly and thread my fingers through the short strands of his hair, tilt my head, giving him better access.”