“It seemed more and more like something out of a children's book - the butterfly that followed the little girl all the way home to her fifth-floor walk-up. How above-the-law children's books are. Hansel and Gretel (littering, breaking and entering), Rumpelstiltskin (forced labor), Snow White (conspiracy to commit murder), Rapunzel (breach of contract).” WayChildrenLittlesBookHomeLawGirlWhiteWalksLaborMurderCommitSnowContractsConspiracyButterflyEnteringFifthLike SomethingChildren's BooksBreachWay HomeSnow WhiteRapunzelAbove The LawHansel And GretelLitteringBreaking And Entering Book:I Was Told There'd Be Cake Source: I Was Told There'd Be Cake
“I was taught that candles are like house cats - domesticated versions of something wild and dangerous. There's no way to know how much of that killer instinct lurks in the darkness. I used to think the house-burning paranoia was the result of some upper-middle-class fear regarding the potential destruction of a half-million-dollar Westchester house the size of a matchbox. But then I realized the fear stemmed from something far less complex: we're not used to fire. Candles are a staple of the Judaic existence and, like many suburban residents before us, we're pretty bad Jews.” ThinkingKnowsWayUsedHouseResultsExistenceHalfClassMillionsDarknessKnow HowFireMiddleDangerousTaughtCatDestructionDollarsInstinctComplexesSizeJewI RealizedVersionsBurningMiddle ClassCandleKillersMillion DollarsParanoiaResidentsStaplesUpper Middle ClassKiller InstinctMatchboxes Book:I Was Told There'd Be Cake Source: I Was Told There'd Be Cake
“You feel like telling him you're not single in the way that he thinks you're single. After all, you have yourself.” ThinkingWayFeelsBreak Up Author:Sloane Crosley
“I hope to one day co-sign a lease with another person but, well, it doesn't plague me that I have yet to do so. Put it this way: I've never had to violently tug at my own pillow at 2 A.M. to get myself to stop snoring.” WayWellsPersonsMy OwnBreakOne DayPlagueBreak UpPillowLeaseSnoring Author:Sloane Crosley
“A pet store is a celebration of dogs' existence and an explosion of options. About cats, a pet store seems to say, 'Here, we couldn't think of anything else.' Cats are the Hanukkah of the animal world in this way. They are feted quietly and happily by a minority, but there's only so much hoopla applicable to them.” ThinkingWorldWaySeemsAnimalExistenceDogCatStoresPetMinoritiesCelebrationExplosionsAnimal WorldHanukkah Author:Sloane Crosley
“Let me put it this way: I don't feel as settled as I look. I think that's true of everyone, probably. Except for Beyonce and Jay-Z. I don't think they wake up and think, 'Ugh, when's it going to work out for us? Why can't we catch a break?' Aside from them, I'm pretty sure everyone's life feels a lot less intentional.” ThinkingWayFeelsLooksBreakLet MeWake UpWork OutGoing To WorkBeyonceUgh Author:Sloane Crosley
“My grandmother was a kind of Scarsdale, New York, society woman, best known in her day as the author of the 1959 book 'Growing Your Own Way: An Informal Guide for Teen-Agers' - this despite being a person whose parenting style made Joan Crawford's wire hangers look like pool noodles.” WayLooksKindPersonsMadeBookKnownGrowingStyleNew YorkGuidesDespiteGrandmotherPoolMy GrandmotherWireNoodlesHangersParenting Styles Author:Sloane Crosley
“My personality, when tasked with creating meals, goes something like this: Is there a way we can make this more difficult? Because let's do that. I don't mean to complicate things. It's just - why buy pre-packaged potato salad when you can spend your morning boiling potatoes and flipping out because there's no dill in the house?” WayMeanHouseDifficultMorningPersonalityCreatingMealsPotatoesSaladBoilingPotato SaladFlipping Out Author:Sloane Crosley
“Normally, I am a vocal advocate for 'looking both ways' and 'knowing the size of one's own body.' But working, socialising and simply running errands in Manhattan, means I am bound to break my own rules on occasion.” WayMeanBodyRunningMy OwnBreakKnowingBoundsSizeOccasionsVocalManhattanErrandsSocialising Author:Sloane Crosley
“You feel like telling him you're not single in the way that he thinks you're single. After all, you have yourself. I think a lot of humor is about distracting yourself. Pretend you're not trying to make it funny. Because for some reason the effort to be funny smells like sulphur in our culture.” ThinkingWayFeelsTryingReasonCultureEffortSmellImperfectAdulthoodRefreshing Author:Sloane Crosley
