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Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes

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Famous Sloane Crosley Quotes

“I have nothing against Canada. I think that Canadians might know the secret to all existence, but to us it just comes off as timid and kind and too nice, and it strikes us as lacking edge. Unless you are hijacking someone and going on a reality show with your eight kids and wearing a velour pink pantsuit, then you have no edge to us.”

ThinkingKnowsKindShowsRealityMightKidsSecretExistenceNiceEdgesEightStrikesCanadaLackingReality ShowsToo NiceHijacking
Author:Sloane Crosley
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“Ladies. Large masses of girls are often prone to this salutation. I hate being mollified with this unsolicited "ladies" business. I know we're all women. I am conscious of my breasts. Do I have to be conscious of yours as well? Do men do this? Do they go, "Men: Meet for ribs in the shed after the game. Keg beer, raw eggs, and death metal only." I would imagine not.”

KnowsMenWellsHateGirlGamesImagineMassConsciousI HateBeerBreastsEggsMetalsShedRefreshingRibsKegsSalutationsDeath Metal
Book:I Was Told There'd Be Cake
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“Because, ten-year-olds of the world, you shouldn't believe what your teachers tell you about the beauty and specialness and uniqueness of you. Or, believe it, little snowflake, but know it won't make a bit of difference until after puberty. It's Newton's lost law: anything that makes you unique later will get your chocolate milk stolen and your eye blackened as a kid. Won't it, Sebastian? Oh, yes, it will, my little Mandarin Chinese-learning, Poe-reciting, high-top-wearing friend. God bless you, wherever you are.”

KnowsWorldYearsBelieveLittlesEyeKidsLawLostBitsDifferencesTeacherTenUniqueChineseChocolateBlessMilkUniquenessStolenNewtonGod BlessPubertySnowflakeWherever You AreRecitingGod Bless YouSpecialnessChocolate Milk
Book:I Was Told There'd Be Cake
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“I was taught that candles are like house cats - domesticated versions of something wild and dangerous. There's no way to know how much of that killer instinct lurks in the darkness. I used to think the house-burning paranoia was the result of some upper-middle-class fear regarding the potential destruction of a half-million-dollar Westchester house the size of a matchbox. But then I realized the fear stemmed from something far less complex: we're not used to fire. Candles are a staple of the Judaic existence and, like many suburban residents before us, we're pretty bad Jews.”

ThinkingKnowsWayUsedHouseResultsExistenceHalfClassMillionsDarknessKnow HowFireMiddleDangerousTaughtCatDestructionDollarsInstinctComplexesSizeJewI RealizedVersionsBurningMiddle ClassCandleKillersMillion DollarsParanoiaResidentsStaplesUpper Middle ClassKiller InstinctMatchboxes
Book:I Was Told There'd Be Cake
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“There is one thing you know for sure, one fact that never fails to comfort you: the worst day of your life wasn't in there, in that mess. And it will do you good to remember the best day of your life wasn't in there, either. But another person brought you closer to those borders than you had been, and maybe that's not such a bad thing.”

KnowsPersonsFactsRememberFailingOne ThingWorstComfortMessBordersBad ThingsWorst Day
Book:How Did You Get This Number
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“Cats and their owners are on a private, exclusive loop of affection. Thus cats have become symbolic of a community eschewed and a hyper-engagement with oneself. They represent the profound danger of growing so independent in New York that it's not merely that you don't need anyone - it's that you don't know how to need anyone.”

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Author:Sloane Crosley
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“If I go into a sandwich shop or anywhere that features 'Today's specials' on a chalkboard more than 10 feet away, I have to ask for a printed menu. I smile at people I don't know on the street and ignore those I do. When at home, I often find myself grabbing my 'back-up' glasses to search for the better-loved pair I have left on top of my dresser.”

PeopleIfsKnowsHomeTodayAsksLeftFeetStreetsGlassesFeaturesShopsPairsSandwichesPrintedI SmileMenusGrabbingDressersChalkboards
Author:Sloane Crosley
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