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Stephen Leacock Quotes

Writer

Stephen Leacock was a renowned Canadian writer known for his humor and satire. His works, which extensively covered social commentary and satirical novels, have had a profound impact on later generations.

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All Economy Men Ifs People Work Enough Fall Two Firsts Humour Inspirational Literature Littles Long May Ought Professors Thinking Trouble Whole

Famous Stephen Leacock Quotes

“Any man will admit if need be that his sight is not good, or that he cannot swim or shoots badly with a rifle, but to touch upon his sense of humour is to give him mortal affront.”

Ifs Men Needs Giving Humour Sight Mortals Swim Rifles Affront

Book:Feast of Stephen

Source: Feast of Stephen

“The attempt to make the consumption of beer criminal is as silly and as futile as if you passed a law to send a man to jail for eating cucumber salad.”

Ifs Men Law Eating Criminals Silly Beer Jail Consumption Salad Drunkenness Cucumbers

Author:Stephen Leacock

“You know, many a man realizes late in life that if when he was a boy he had known what he knows now, instead of being what he is he might be what he won't; but how few boys stop to think that if they knew what they don't know instead of being what they will be, they wouldn't be?”

Ifs Thinking Knows Men Might Realizing Known Boys Late

Book:Literary Lapses

Source: Literary Lapses

“We can no longer communicate with the apes by direct language, nor can we understand, without special study, their modes of communication which we have long since replaced by more elaborate forms. But it is at least presumable that they could still detect in our speech, at least when it is public and elaborate, the underlying tone values with which it began. Thus if we could take a gibbon ape to a college public lecture, he would not understand it, but he would "get a good deal of it." This is all the students get anyway.”

Ifs Long Stills Form Values Language Deals Study Special Students College Communication Speech Direct Communicate Tone Replaced Lectures Apes

Book:Leacock on Life

Source: Leacock on Life

“Modern critics, who refuse to let a plain thing alone, have now started a theory that Cervantes's work is a vast piece of "symbolism." If so, Cervantes didn't know it himself and nobody thought of it for three hundred years. He meant it as a satire upon the silly romances of chivalry.”

Ifs Knows Years Romance Three Pieces Modern Theory Hundred Critics Refuse Silly Satire Symbolism Chivalry

Book:Leacock on Life

Source: Leacock on Life

“You frequently ask, where are the friends of your childhood, and urge that they shall be brought back to you. As far as I am able to learn, those of your friends who are not in jail are still right there in your native village. You point out that they were wont to share your gambols, If so, you are certainly entitled to have theirs now.”

Ifs Stills Able Asks Share Childhood Your Children Native Urges Jail Village Entitled

Book:Literary Lapses

Source: Literary Lapses

“There is an old motto that runs, "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again." This is nonsense. It ought to read, "If at first you don't succeed, quit, quit at once."”

Ifs Trying Firsts Running Ought Succeed Quitting Nonsense Motto Try Again

Book:Frenzied Fiction

Source: Frenzied Fiction

“If every day in the life of a school could be the last day but one, there would be little fault to find with it.”

Ifs Littles Would Be School Lasts Faults Last Day School Life

Book:Feast of Stephen

Source: Feast of Stephen

“If I were founding a university I would begin with a smoking room; next a dormitory; and then a decent reading room and a library. After that, if I still had more money that I couldn't use, I would hire a professor and get some text books.”

Ifs Stills Book Use Reading Next Rooms Library University Decent Smoking Professors More Money Founding Dormitory Reading Room

Author:Stephen Leacock

About the Author

Born: December 30, 1869
Died: March 28, 1944
Known for: Writer
Quotes: 96

Books & Sources

Leacock on LifeRelated source material

Feast of StephenRelated source material

Literary LapsesRelated source material

Sunshine Sketches of a Little TownRelated source material

Frenzied FictionRelated source material

My Discovery of EnglandRelated source material

My Remarkable UncleRelated source material

On the Front Line of Life: Stephen Leacock : Memories and Reflections, 1935-1944Related source material

The Penguin Stephen LeacockRelated source material

The social criticism of Stephen LeacockRelated source material

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