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Steven Kolberg Biography

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“If we will not do the little things like change a diaper, swaddle our young one, or sit down and play with them, why would we think we can be intentional with the large things in their life? Here is a little bit of wisdom. In order to have the relationship for those hard midnight kitchen-counter conversations, there has to be trust. Trust is developed over time. Changing diapers and doing the little things through the infant and toddler years develops in your child a sense of trust. These are little things to you, but very big things to them. As time goes on, these little frequent tasks will turn into larger and not-as-often ones. Are we willing to be prepared?”

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“The words in the Bible are not just words; they are God’s words. Something happens when you read the Bible as opposed to any other piece of literature. It is almost too complicated to explain, but there is a simple concept that sums up the complexity of the matter. Ask yourself this question: “If I read the Bible every day for a year, for fifteen minutes a day, how would my life be different?” Pause right now and ask yourself this question. If you have never read the Bible before, dream about what this might mean for you.”

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“As I began to read through the Bible from cover to cover, I started understanding who God was at the beginning of time and noticed he is the same today. I noticed his plan for humanity, his desire to be with his people, and so many other things.”

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“How many of us dads feel alone, depressed, anxious, overwhelmed, overstimulated, or burned out, like we’re dragging our feet, speechless, doubting our abilities, or just flat-out tired? I know it has to be a lot of us, because every dad I talk to mentions feeling like this multiple times, week in and week out. Turn over to social media, and you will find forums, groups, and influencers supporting dads feeling this way. It is a reality that being a dad is hard work and it wears on you. Support is what we need, but it seems impossible to find.”

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“Culture’s voice is loud, and even the Christian subculture voice is. I remember noticing this in my late teen years. Maybe I am on an island by myself here, but all through late teen years, I was not preparing for working responsibilities. I was preparing to have them. People kept telling me I was going to have a wife, have children, have a home, and have a career. I was preparing to have all of those and was totally naïve to the fact that in order for them to thrive, they would need work, or they would all die.”

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“Ask anyone—when chaos is all around and that worship music starts playing, our eyes quickly move from being focused on ourselves to being focused on God. This is powerful. Many times when I have anxiety from not knowing how to parent, I need to remind myself that God is parenting through me and is with me.”

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“I learned a valuable lesson that God seems to have weaved into all his creation, and it is this: boundaries lead to freedom. Adam and Eve, in order to enjoy their garden freedom, had to maintain a boundary of not eating from the tree in the middle of the garden. I implemented boundaries, and that is where I felt freedom.”

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“The same applies to us. The gifts and talents we have from God are given for what he has in mind for us. Do not pick up a body suit of armor and sword when God built you to fight with the sling and stones.”

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“God created human beings and filled them with souls. They come into the earth in the form of babies that are in need of nurturing, love, and care. As time goes on, teaching and training become imperative for their survival in this world. But that is not all children are.”

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“Constantly praying for God to teach me new things about him to apply in my life, I rarely gave it a second thought when I spent time with him and I learned something. It stopped there. See, we can learn things, but if we do not spend time applying them to our lives, they do not stick. Then we ask, “Where is the growth?” This cultural age we are in is obsessed with information and followers and online presence. I fell for it; I still fall for it.”

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“Recently, I was convinced that I was so focused on my voice and telling everyone else what I learned that I became a really good virtue signaler. Unintentionally, I was obsessed with knowing all the right things, and I didn’t pay much attention to what I was applying in my life. I was getting too excited when I heard a new bumper-sticker quote from a sermon or catching phrase in a Christian podcast.”

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“I finally got to a point in my life where I recognized the need to expand my team. In order to get ahead of some of the unknown weights in my life, I knew I should probably get a counselor. However, out of pride mostly, I took over three years to finally sign up and go to my first session.”

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“As I can see and have experienced myself, men seem to have a hard time knowing what it is to grow in their faith or how to do it. I see wives asking their husbands to become the spiritual leaders of the house for her and the kids, and the guy is eager, too, but won’t admit he does not know how.”

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“Nothing is more important in life than your relationship with God. He is the Creator of all relationships, so he should be number one. These Scriptures clearly show that our time spent with God needs to come above all else. On the top drop of our relationship waterfall, God resides. We can give God all our heart, soul, mind, and strength when we give him our first. This verse does not say to just give God your heart, soul, mind, and strength. It says give all. It is impossible to give all if we have already given away to other relationships.”

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“In case you missed it, Jesus says, “Go and make disciples.” He does not say, “Go and tell people about me and baptize them, then move on to someone else.” Our priority is to spend time with the few in our lives who are open and able to learn from us about the commands he has given us. Simply put, discipleship is helping people follow Jesus. This may mean helping people who are already following Jesus or helping people who are not yet following him. It is not just a word that applies to Christians.”

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“I have seen many good men give up on perseverance. Life takes a toll. They started off so well in their marriage and fatherhood, but as the adversity stacked up and blow after blow struck like a heavyweight fight, they just did not get back in the fight. This is why it is so important to have Jesus at the center of your life as your strength. This is why it is so important to be training physically and spiritually for the battle we are in.”

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“Do I think I do not need God? How is it that I believe and follow God if my tendency is to think I do not need relationships in my life? These questions started to plague my mind, but I could only come back to the thought of God’s grace. I believe that God allowed me to view him how I needed to; after all, he knew I needed him.”

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“Unlike a project, we will not be able to bring people to completion. That is God’s job. Our job is to do our part by joining in with the Creator bringing his creation forward, helping it become a part of his incredible world.”

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“Translate these thoughts into fatherhood. If you are like me, it is a task in which, most of the time, I have no idea of what I am doing. Anxiety and depression easily take over most days, as I think I have screwed up my kids or I am doing everything wrong. But this new way of thinking has given me hope. I no longer feel like I am doing this alone, and I am finding weights I picked up that I am negatively parenting from.”

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“Don’t make yourself an idol. Since it feels good to fill up our cup, it can become too easy to give ourselves too much time and let the other relationships in our lives take a hit. Make sure you are not taking too much time away from the other relationships in your life. Find the balance.”

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“When we combine the strategic order of relationships with discipleship, it helps provide clarity on relationships we should be prioritizing. We start with the relationships God has given us direct responsibility over, then we work our way outward from there. Asking ourselves, “Whom can we disciple?” and praying about it helps guide us to those in our current season of life we should be prioritizing.”

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“The words preserve and persevere seem very similar to me. How often are we going to get tired of doing the work? If you are like me, a lot. But we do not quit! We must persevere in order to preserve. I started praying a lot for perseverance over perfection recently because I am noticing I could not care less that I can’t do things right, but I need strength to keep going and keep working.”

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“For me, drinking became a sin issue over a substance issue and it needed to go and be put back to its appropriate place in my life. I am somewhere on this journey. I can feel it as a weight slowing me down, holding me back, and making it so tough to endure and persevere. When I stopped abusing drinking, I experienced freedom in ways I cannot describe but would feel very similar to dropping dead weight when you are running. You get a second wind, you get a pop in your step, and you feel like you can run faster than you ever thought possible.”

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“In this American culture, I see mass confusion around what priorities should be. I sense that they do not exist or we have two foundational ones, like family and work. Life becomes a mess when we do not have the right priorities or hold them in the incorrect order.”

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“Compromise in what you let into your body and your home through what you see and hear will eventually land us in a place where we wonder how we even got there. Sound familiar? Whenever you hear about a pastor or someone whose life just blew up and you could never see it coming, it means that at some point in their journey, they did not fight back against the simple yet convincing lies of Satan. Simply put, they did not engage in spiritual warfare. What started out as what seemed like an innocent seed grew and eventually took that person out. Kill the lie; fight back against the darkness when it is in infant form before it overtakes you or your family.”

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“God is who makes you a man. Culture does not get to define you as a man, your dad does not get to define you as a man, your friends do not get to define you as a man. Your wife, your mom, your kids, your neighbor, your boss, your coworker, your social media, your humor, your strength, your job, your car, your truck, your hunting expertise, your love for sports, your ability to drink—you name it!—none of these things get to define you as a man. Only one voice may, and that is the voice of your Creator. He created you as a man. Now rise up to the challenge and let him do his work.”

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“Being a spiritual leader just means going first; it does not mean being perfect or having perfect discipline. It means going first, admitting failure, asking for help, and not stopping. When the wife asks us to lead our family or the like, I want us to have the confidence to say, “Yes, and I know how!”

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