“The adolescent does not develop her identity and individuality by moving outside her family. She is not triggered by some magic unconscious dynamic whereby she rejects her family in favour of her peers or of a larger society.... She continues to develop in relation to her parents. Her mother continues to have more influence over her than either her father or her friends.” DoeMovingMotherFatherParentMagicInfluenceIdentityRelationIndividualityUnconsciousRejectsAdolescencePeersFavourMoving Out Author:Terri E Apter
“Parents are never forgiven for not giving just the right response at the appropriate moment. Or, rather, there are particular times in the adolescent's or young adult's life, when a certain response is needed, and this need is not met, and the failure to meet this need is forever remembered, and is never forgiven.” NeedsGivingMomentsYoungCertainParentForeverParticularNeededMetsAdultsResponseYoung AdultRememberedAppropriateAdolescenceForgivenNever Forgive Author:Terri E Apter
“Parenting can be established as a time-share job, but mothers are less good "switching off" their parent identity and turning to something else. Many women envy the father's ability to set clear boundaries between home and work, between being an on-duty and an off-duty parent.... Women work very hard to maintain a closeness to their child. Father's value intimacy with a child, but often do not know how to work to maintain it.” KnowsChildrenHardHomeJobsMotherValuesFatherParentAbilityKnow HowClearShareIdentityDutyEnvyBoundariesIntimacyClosenessSwitchingSwitching Off Author:Terri E Apter
“This is the hope of many adolescent girls--to capture a parent's heart with love for them as they are, as people. They reject thenotion of being loved just because they are the child of the parent. They want the parent to fall in love with them all over again, because being new, they deserve a new love.” PeopleWantHeartChildrenFallGirlParentDeserveFalling In LoveRejectsCaptureBeing Loved Author:Terri E Apter
“Adolescents do get very angry with their parents, and acknowledging this anger is part of acknowledging them. If the anger is notacknowledged then its expression is increased. The parent seems super-strong. The adolescent tries to become the super-attacker.” IfsTryingSeemsStrongParentExpressionAngry Author:Terri E Apter
“Preoccupied with her self, the adolescent sees enormous changes, whereas the parent sees the child she knew all along. For the parent, new developments are superficial and evanescent. For the adolescent, they are thrilling and profound.” ChildrenSelfParentDevelopmentProfoundEnormousSuperficialThrilling Author:Terri E Apter
