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Quote by Jon Stewart

“Wait a minute, words in the prompter, script on my desk, vending machine upstairs out of Funyuns... the writers are back!”

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Jon Stewart

Jon Stewart, born on November 28, 1962, is an American satirist, comedian, writer, and television host. He is best known for his work on 'The Daily Show', where he used satire and humor to deeply analyze American politics and social issues. more

“New Rule: If you still think Obama is a Muslim, you just might be a redneck. A Christian church in South Carolina has a sign out front that says 'Obama... Osama... Hmmm... Are they brothers?' No, they're not brothers. In fact, they're not even related, which is more than I can say for the married couples in your church.”

Ifs Thinking Stills I Can Facts Might Christian Church Fronts Brother Couple Married South Related Redneck Carolina Christian Church South Carolina Married Couples Hmmm

Author:Bill Maher

“If children were taught to question and think through their beliefs, instead of being taught the superior virtue of faith without question, it is a good bet that there would be no suicide bombers.”

Ifs Thinking Children Would Be Belief Virtue Taught Suicide Superiors Bombers Suicide Bombers

Author:Richard Dawkins

“So, I bought a new CD and I was trying to get it open but couldn't with all the layers... I mean plastic and then tape, and the tape is like government tape. It says 'open here.' Is that sarcasm?”

Trying Mean Government Sarcasm Tape Layers Plastic Cds

Author:Ellen DeGeneres

“You alone govern the nature of things. Without you nothing emerges into the light of day, without you nothing is joyous or lovely.”

Light Lovely Without You Joyous

Author:Lucretius

“In the aftermath of the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001, I watched helplessly as the Bush administration led America into a strategic blunder of historic proportions. It became painfully obvious that the executive branch of our government did not trust its military. It relied instead on a neoconservative ideology developed by men and women with little, if any, military experience. Some senior military leaders did not challenge civilian decision makers at the appropriate times, and the courageous few who did take a stand were subsequently forced out of the service.”

“Christians, you and your churches don't get to be millionaires while other people have nothing at all. They're your bloody rules! Either stick to them or abandon the faith.”

People Christian Church Sticks Abandon Bloody Millionaire

Author:Marcus Brigstocke

Quote by Jon Stewart

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