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Quote by Jay Leno

“Martha Stewart is now under house arrest. So she'll go to her $40 million 153-acre estate. So she's going from the big house to an even bigger house.”

Quote by Jay Leno

Author

Jay Leno (born April 28, 1950) is an American comedian, television host, writer, and car enthusiast. He is best known for hosting NBC's The Tonight Show from 1992 to 2009, and again from 2010 to 2014. Known for his gentle humor, observational comedy, and distinctive chin, Leno became a household name in late-night television. Beyond comedy, he is a passionate car collector with a vast collection of vehicles. He also engages in philanthropy, supporting education, healthcare, and veteran causes. Leno's career spans decades, and he is regarded as one of the most successful talk show hosts in American history. more

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“Martha Stewart is getting out of prison so today the terror alert was raised from orange to pesto.”

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Author:David Letterman

“Have you seen the cover of Newsweek? They have Martha Stewart on the cover, but it's not actually Martha. It's a doctored photo. They put Martha's head on a slimmer woman's body. And Martha was very upset about this. She said, 'Hey, if I wanted my face on another woman's body, I'd stay in prison.'”

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Author:Jay Leno

“When Martha gets out she'll be under house arrest in her big $40 million mansion in Bedford. Boy, that'll teach her. She's only allowed out of the house for doctors visits, grocery shopping, or to dump more stock.”

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Author:David Letterman

“President Bush got an early Christmas gift. This week, President Bush was chosen as 'Person of the Year' by Time magazine. Not only that, Martha Stewart was chosen as person of the year by Doing Time magazine.”

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Author:Conan O'Brien

“Martha Stewart published her recipe for disaster -- mix one part arrogance with two parts incompetence, simmer in the juices and then serve hot in the can.”

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Author:Jay Leno

“Tough times for Martha Stewart. Yesterday, Martha Stewart reported to her parole officer and had to take a mandatory urine test for cocaine and marijuana. Martha was found to be drug-free and her urine was found to be a lovely yellow saffron.”

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Author:Conan O'Brien

“As you know President Bush has been traveling around the country trying to sell his new Social Security plan. He wants to take our retirement money and invest it in the stock market. He says nothing can go wrong. I'll mention that to Martha Stewart the next time I see her.”

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Author:Jay Leno

“I have a very large forehead. I have a pronounced skull. Maybe producers think that there is a lot going on up in there.”

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Author:Neil Patrick Harris

“Martha Stewart was convicted of four counts of lying and obstruction of justice and could serve up to 20 years in Congress.”

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Author:Craig Kilborn

“Martha Stewart was found guilty on all charges. You know what that means, stripes are in this year.”

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Author:Jay Leno