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Quote by David Letterman

“Martha Stewart is getting out of prison so today the terror alert was raised from orange to pesto.”

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David Letterman, born on April 12, 1947, is a renowned talk show host from the United States. Known for his unique humor and sharp interviewing skills, Letterman has long been associated with his late-night show. His program has been beloved by audiences for its in-depth interviews, humorous segments, and the iconic 'Late Show Top Ten' list. more

“Have you seen the cover of Newsweek? They have Martha Stewart on the cover, but it's not actually Martha. It's a doctored photo. They put Martha's head on a slimmer woman's body. And Martha was very upset about this. She said, 'Hey, if I wanted my face on another woman's body, I'd stay in prison.'”

Ifs Said Body Wanted Faces Prison Hey Upset Women's Bodies Another Woman

Author:Jay Leno

“When Martha gets out she'll be under house arrest in her big $40 million mansion in Bedford. Boy, that'll teach her. She's only allowed out of the house for doctors visits, grocery shopping, or to dump more stock.”

Bigs House Boys Teach Millions Doctors Shopping Groceries Dump Mansions Grocery Shopping House Arrest

Author:David Letterman

“President Bush got an early Christmas gift. This week, President Bush was chosen as 'Person of the Year' by Time magazine. Not only that, Martha Stewart was chosen as person of the year by Doing Time magazine.”

Years Persons President Week Chosen Magazines President Bush Christmas Gift Time Magazine

Author:Conan O'Brien

“Martha Stewart published her recipe for disaster -- mix one part arrogance with two parts incompetence, simmer in the juices and then serve hot in the can.”

Two Hot Disaster Arrogance Recipes Juice Incompetence

Author:Jay Leno