Home / Quotes / Quote by Jackie Mason

Quote by Jackie Mason

“I'm crazy about the fact that the Jewish people should survive because they have so much to contribute and so many values to contribute to the world. It would be a much better world, a much more peaceful and non-violent world if we lived by Jewish values.”

Quote by Jackie Mason

Author

Jackie Mason is a renowned comedian known for his unique humor style and sharp wit. Born on June 9, 1931, he has been a prominent figure in the comedy world since the 1950s. more

You May Also Like

“Everybody knows we're entitled to one Jerusalem. History reveals very simply that this is our land from the days of the Bible.”

Knows Land Entitled Jerusalem

Author:Jackie Mason

“It is easy to tell the difference between Jews and Gentiles. After the show, all the gentiles are saying 'Have a drink? Want a drink? Let's have a drink!' While all the Jews are saying 'Have you eaten yet? Want a piece of cake? Let's have some cake!”

Want Shows Easy Differences Pieces Drink Jew Cake Gentiles

Author:Jackie Mason

“I am excited about getting back to what I do best and what my audience likes best, I am writing new jokes every day and soon Ill be telling them every night. Just me, one Jew talking and that's it.”

Writing Night Talking Audience Jokes Ill Jew Excited Likes Every Night

Author:Jackie Mason

“Jews are the best dressers in the world. They buy the best clothes, the best homes, the best cars. The best of everything. The only thing is, they get it for less.”

World Home Car Clothes Jew Dressers

Author:Jackie Mason

“I'm still suffering from shock from the last war. I was almost drafted! Luckily I was wounded while taking the physical. When I reached the psychiatrist, I said, Give me a gun, I'll wipe out the whole German Army in five minutes. He said, You're crazy! I said, Write it down!”

Giving Writing Said Stills War Whole Lasts Suffering Five Crazy Minutes Gun Give Me Army Shock Wounded Five Minutes Wipe Psychiatrist

Author:Jackie Mason

“I sometimes think that when the prime minister tries to select a weapon it is the boomerang he finds most effective.”

Thinking Trying Sometimes Weapons Ministers Prime Prime Minister Select Boomerang

Author:John Smith

“I know I'm not sexy. In high school I was voted Most Likely to Masturbate.”

Knows School High School Sexy

Author:Rodney Dangerfield

“Women my age just don't turn me on. That's another problem with getting older. I took out an older woman the other night, and I mean old. I told her, Act your age. She died.”

Mean Problem Age Night Turns Died Getting Old Getting Older Older Women Turn Me

Book:It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect but Plenty of Sex and Drugs

Source: It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect but Plenty of Sex and Drugs

“Well with girls I don't get no respect. I had a blind date. I waited two hours on the corner. A girl walked by. I said Are you Louise? She said, Are you Rodney? I said, Yeah. She said, I'm not Louise.”

Wells Said Two Girl Hours Yeah Blind Corners No Respect Blind Date

Author:Rodney Dangerfield

“I don't get no respect. I called Suicide Prevention. They tried to talk me into it.”

Respect Suicide Prevention No Respect

Author:Rodney Dangerfield