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Quote by Erma Bombeck

“I don't know why no one ever thought to paste a label on the toilet-tissue spindle giving 1-2-3 directions for replacing the tissue on it. Then everyone in the house would know what Mama knows.”

Quote by Erma Bombeck

Author

Erma Bombeck was an American humorist and newspaper columnist renowned for her sharp wit and poignant observations on family life and suburban living. Born on February 21, 1927, she passed away on April 22, 1996. Bombeck's columns were syndicated in over 1,000 newspapers, and her books became bestsellers. more

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“I don't believe in charity. I believe in solidarity. Charity is so vertical. It goes from the top to the bottom. Solidarity is horizontal. It respects the other person. I have a lot to learn from other people.”

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Author:Eduardo Galeano

“Everyone is guilty at one time or another of throwing out questions that beg to be ignored, but mothers seem to have a market on the supply. "Do you want a spanking or do you want to go to bed?" Don't you want to save some of the pizza for your brother?" Wasn't there any change?”

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Author:Erma Bombeck

“He might be a man without character, but she was a woman without courage. Of the two, which was worse?”

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Book:S is for Silence

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“Nothing you do for children is ever wasted.”

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Book:Leaving Home

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“As you get older; you've probably noticed that you tend to forget things. You'll be talking with somebody at a party, and you'll know that you know this person, but no matter how hard you try, you can't remember his or her name. This can be very embarassing, especially if he or she turns out to be your spouse.”

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Book:The World According to Dave Barry

Source: The World According to Dave Barry

“...there were certain chapters when I stopped writing, saw the domestic situation I was in and thought, "I don't want to face this world, let's get back to the hellish one I'm imagining.”

World Want Writing Faces Certain Situation Saws This World Get Back Chapters

Author:Alasdair Gray

“I believe it was Shakespeare, or possibly Howard Cosell, who first observed that marriage is very much like a birthday candle, in that 'the flames of passion burn brightest when the wick of intimacy is first ignited by the disposable butane lighter of physical attraction, but sooner or later the heat of familiarity causes the wax of boredom to drip all over the vanilla frosting of novelty and the shredded coconut of romance.' I could not have phrased it better myself.”

Source: The World According to Dave Barry

“If you're like most members of the Baby Boom generation, you decided somewhere along the line, probably after about four margaritas, to have children. This was inevitable. Mother Nature, in her infinite wisdom, has instilled within each of us a powerful biological instinct to reproduce; this is her way of assuring that the human race, come what may, will never have any disposable income.”

Source: The World According to Dave Barry

“Aside from velcro, time is the most mysterious substance in the universe. You can't see it or touch it, yet a plumber can charge you upwards of seventy-five dollars per hour for it, without necessarily fixing anything.”

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Book:Dave Barry Turns Forty

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“Human nature is deeper and broader than the artificial contrivance of any existing culture.”

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Author:E. O. Wilson