Home / Quotes / Quote by Mitch Hedberg

Quote by Mitch Hedberg

“What am I drinking? NyQuil on the rocks, for when you're feeling sick but sociable.”

Quote by Mitch Hedberg

Author

Mitch Hedberg was an American comedian born on February 24, 1968. He was known for his unique humor style and insightful observations. Hedberg's career was brief, but he left a lasting impression in the comedy world with his witty sarcasm and humorous wisdom. more

You May Also Like

“My friends drink everywhere. They even drink at the laundromat. I tried drinking at the laundromat, and I thought I was in a submarine, navigating the Sea of White Panties with my Spanish-speaking crew. I was like, "Mrs. Sanchez, set the coordinates to Permanent Press! Give me some quarters and another drink! This place is starting to look like a laundromat."”

Giving Looks Humor Funny White Sea Drink My Friends Give Me Presses Drinking Starting Permanent Quarters Crew Submarines Coordinates Panties Laundromats

Author:Mike Birbiglia

“There's a late-night scene in every town, and everyone has something going on, ... I've heard good stories about (Syracuse); this is a very good party town, a good drinking place. I definitely would like to come back and check it out further. Do some more research, as I call it.”

Stories Humor Funny Night Party Heard Scene Late Research Towns Drinking Very Good Checks Good Story Late Night Good Drinking Syracuse Good Party

Author:Dave Attell

“This one guy, the worst guy in the music. The Yanni man. You know Yanni? First of all, anyone who looks like a magician and doesn't do magic, I don't like. I don't even like magic, I hate it. But I love the word, "Ta-da"! I love that word! I don't get to say it, right? I never do any magic. You just can't go around walking, "Ta-da!" "Ta-da!" "Ta-da!" The only time I can say it is when I do something really stupid or surprising. Like if I go out all night drinking and hitting strip clubs and I come home and I still got some money... "Ta-da!" I thought I was broke. Why does my jaw hurt?”

Ifs Knows Men Firsts Looks Doe Stills I Can Home Night Guy Hate Hurt Magic Stupid Walking I Hate Drinking Clubs Broke Coming Home Surprising Hitting Magician Only Time Cant All Night Really Stupid

Author:Dave Attell

“Here is a tip for all you young people drinking wine. With pasta, drink white wine. With steak, drink red wine. And if you're vegan, you're annoying.”

People Ifs Humor Funny Young White Drink Red Wine Drinking Vegan Annoying Steak Pasta Drinking Wine Red Wine White Wine

Author:Demetri Martin

“I've no desire to hang around with a bunch of upper-class delinquents, do twenty minutes' work and then spend the rest of the day loafing about in Paris drinking gallons of champagne and having dozens of moist, pink, highly experienced French peasant girls galloping up and down my - hang on.”

Desire Girl Class Minutes Twenties Drinking Bunch Paris Dozen Up And Down Peasants Champagne Upper Class Gallons Delinquents Galloping Loafing

Author:Rowan Atkinson

“We didn't have rehab back in the Seventies. Back in the Seventies, rehab meant you stopped doing coke, but you kept smoking pot and drinking for a couple more weeks.”

Humor Funny Week Couple Drinking Smoking Pot Seventies Coke Rehab Smoking Pot

Author:Denis Leary

“Wine gives a man nothing. It neither gives him knowledge nor wit; it only animates a man, and enables him to bring out what a dread of the company has repressed. It only puts in motion what had been locked up in frost.”

Men Giving Company Food Wine Drinking Wit Locked Dread Frost Repressed Locked Up Food And Wine Best Wine

Book:The Life of Samuel Johnson

Source: The Life of Samuel Johnson

“When I finally embraced abstinence it was because of the simple urge to work a longer day. Thus, without joining Alcoholics Anonymous, I was at last able to leave Piss-Artists Notorious.”

Humor Able Funny Lasts Artist Simple Drink Humorous Wine Drinking Alcohol Urges Alcoholics Joining Liquor Abstinence Notorious Alcoholics Anonymous Longer Days

Book:Always Unreliable: Memoirs

Source: Always Unreliable: Memoirs

“I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.”

Would Be Horse Insult Sarcastic Wordplay Sadistic Sadism Beating A Dead Horse

Author:Woody Allen

“"Mr. Churchill you're drunk!" Mr. Churchill: "And you, Lady Astor, are ugly. As for my condition, it will pass by the morning. You, however, will still be ugly.”

Stills Morning Conditions Drinking Ugly Drunk

Author:Winston Churchill