“Personally, I think Jim Henson said it best when he said "Anybody got an aspirin? I think I've got a cold."” Quote by Denis Leary
“I just think it's difficult for them to see the forest for the trees right now, which I can't blame them for, given the circumstances they found themselves in.” ThinkingI CanHumorFunnyFoundGivenDifficultTreeCircumstancesRight NowBlameForests Author:Denis Leary
“It became sort of a snowball effect, with guys trying to deal in their own way with 9/11, whether it was drinking or whatever.” WayTryingHumorFunnyGuyDealsEffectsDrinkingSnowballSnowball Effect Author:Denis Leary
“The filter's the best part. That's where they put the heroin.” HumorFunnyHeroinFilters Author:Denis Leary
“I'm sick and tired of our generation being called the TV generation. What do you expect? We watched Lee Harvey Oswald get his brains blown out all over. How could we change the channel after that?” HumorFunnyBrainGenerationsTvsSickTiredOur GenerationHarvey Author:Denis Leary
“You know why the French hate us so much? Thay gave us the croissant. And you know what we did with it? We turned it into our croissandwich, thank you very much.” KnowsHumorFunnyHateCroissants Author:Denis Leary
“I tried eating vegetarian. I felt like a wimp going into a restaurant. "What do you want to eat sir? Broccoli?" Broccoli's a side dish, folks. Always was, always will be, OK! When they ask me what I want, I say: What do you think I want? This is America. I want a bowl of raw red meat right now.” ThinkingWantHumorFunnyAmericaAsksFeltSidesRight NowEatingRedFolksAsk MeMeatRestaurantsVegetarianBowlsDishesBroccoliRed MeatWimpsSide Dishes Author:Denis Leary
“I take music pretty seriously. You see that scar on my wrist? You see that? You know where that's from? I heard the Bee Gees were getting back together again. I couldn't take it, OK!” KnowsHumorFunnyTogetherHeardScarBeesWristsBack TogetherTogether AgainBack Together AgainGetting Back TogetherBee Gees Author:Denis Leary
“Heavy Metal fans are buying Heavy Metal records, taking the records home, listening to the records and then blowing their heads off with shotguns? Where's the problem? That's an unemployment solution right there, folks! It's called natural selection.” ProblemHomeHumorFunnyNaturalRecordsFansListeningSolutionsFolksHeavyBuyingMetalsUnemploymentSelectionNatural SelectionHeavy MetalShotgunsMetal Fans Author:Denis Leary
“That's why I'm glad Jesus died when he did. Because if he lived to be 40, he would have ended up like Elvis. He was famous already at that point. If he lived to be 40, he'd be walking around Jerusalem with a big fat beer gut and black side burns going, Damn, I'm the son of God. Give me a cheeseburger and french fries right now.” IfsGivingHumorBigsFunnyJesusSidesBlackSonWalkingRight NowGive MeDiedGladFatsBeerDamnGutsJerusalemFriesFrench FriesCheeseburger Author:Denis Leary
“This is the most exciting place in the world to live. Oh yeah! There are so many ways to die in New York City! Race riots, drive by shootings, subway crashes, construction cranes collapsing on the sidewalks, manhole covers blowing up and asbestos shooting into the sky.” WorldWayHumorFunnyDiesRaceCitiesSkyNew YorkExcitingYeahShootingNew York CityConstructionCrashRiotPlaces In The WorldSubwaySidewalkCranesBlowing UpAsbestosRace Riots Author:Denis Leary