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Nice Girls Don't Have Fangs

In this engaging and witty novel, the protagonist navigates the complexities of being a vampire while trying to maintain a semblance of a normal life. The story delves into the protagonist's journey of self-discovery and the unexpected relationships that arise from her unique condition. more

Author

Molly Harper
Molly Harper

Molly Harper is a renowned author known for her humorous and light-hearted writing style. Her works often feature elements of fantasy and romance, which have won her a wide readership. more

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“Would you kick her ass already?" Dick said, shoving me back toward Missy. "Come on, Stretch, man up. You do better than this! Get mad." I nodded, rolling a dislocated shoulder back into place with a grunt and staggering back toward my opponent. Behind me, Zeb yelled, "She tried to hurt Fitz!" He turned to Gabriel and Dick. "That'll get her mad." Gabriel rolled his eyes. "She's been framed for murder twice over, shot in the back, her arms were set on fire, and her parents are being held hostage. You think tampered dog water is what's going to make her angry?" "You tried to hurt my dog!" I wheezed as I lurched toward a grinning Missy.”

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“Not one word about proposals, no matter how much she pushes,” I told my friends. “No matter what she says or how loud she cries, don’t try to throw that up as a distraction.” Gabriel’s lips twitched. “I don’t think it’s going to be that bad. It’s one woman against five supernatural creatures... And Zeb.” “You laugh because you haven’t heard my mother’s thirty-minute verbal dissertation on appropriate seasonal flower choices. We’re better off letting her yell at us for being dirty, premarital fornicators.”

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“We need to pull over now," she screeched as she gagged. "Paper is not supposed to be made out of poop.” "Did it taste like poop?" Hank inquired as he quickly pulled into a rest stop filled with church buses. "Since I don't eat poop," Dima snapped, "I wouldn't know." "But you do eat people?" "I do not eat people," she yelled. "But your people eat people?" I prodded nicely. "Occasionally," she hissed. "And your people sniff each other's asses when in animal form..." She had a point - and a foul one at that.”

HumorDragonsWerewolvesShiftersPoop
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“Don’t you just hate it when you step in dog poop? Especially if you’re walking with a friend, and as you smell it and the stench keeps pace with you, you begin to wonder if your friend shit his pants. Thankfully, what comes out of a duck’s anus looks more like coffee, and fills your nostrils like yesterday’s news.”

DucksDuckDuck QuoteDuck QuotesPoop
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