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Quote by P. J. O'Rourke

“Coffee and cigarettes are much better if you want an instant breakfast.”

Quote by P. J. O'Rourke

Book:The Bachelor Home Companion: A Practical Guide to Keeping House Like a Pig

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The Bachelor Home Companion: A Practical Guide to Keeping House Like a Pig

This book offers a humorous and practical approach to household management tailored for single individuals, providing tips and strategies for keeping a home in order without the help of a partner. more

Author

P. J. O'Rourke, born on November 14, 1947, is a renowned satirical writer known for his humorous and satirical commentary on political and social issues. His distinctive writing style, characterized by wit and sharpness, has won him a wide readership. more

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“One nice thing about the Third World, you don't have to fasten your seat belt. (Or stop smoking. Or cut down on saturated fats.) It takes a lot off your mind when average life expectancy is forty-five minutes.”

“Never Refuse Wine. It is an odd but universally held opinion that anyone who doesn't drink must be an alcoholic.”

Opinion Drink Wine Refuse Odd Alcoholics

Book:Modern Manners: An Etiquette Book for Rude People

Source: Modern Manners: An Etiquette Book for Rude People

“A woman should dress to attract attention. To attract the most attention, a woman should be either nude, or wearing something as expensive as getting her nude is going to be.”

Should Attention Dresses Expensive

Book:Modern Manners: An Etiquette Book for Rude People

Source: Modern Manners: An Etiquette Book for Rude People

“The interesting thing about staring down a gun barrel is how small the hole is where the bullet comes out, yet what a big difference it would make in your social schedule.”

Bigs Social Differences Interesting Gun Holes Staring Bullets Schedules Interesting Things Barrels

Book:Holidays in Hell

Source: Holidays in Hell

“Well the planet I've got a chance to visit is Earth, and Earth's principal features are chaos and war. I think I'd be a fool to spend years here and never have a look.”

Thinking Years Wells Looks War Earth Chance Planets Fool Chaos Features Principal

Book:Holidays in Hell

Source: Holidays in Hell

“The founding fathers, in their wisdom, devised a method by which our republic can take one hundred of its most prominent numbskulls and keep them out of the private sector where they might do actual harm.”

Might Father Hundred Method Harm Republic Founding Private Sector Prominent

Author:P. J. O'Rourke

“How did an allegedly free people spawn a vast, rampant cuttlefish of dominion with its tentacles in every orifice of the body politic?”

People Body Dominion Spawn Tentacles Cuttlefish

Book:Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government

Source: Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government

“I can understand why mankind hasn't given up war. During a war you get to drive tanks through the sides of buildings and shoot foreigners - two things that are usually frowned on during peacetime.”

I Can Two War Given Sides Mankind Building Two Things Tanks Given Up Foreigners

Author:P. J. O'Rourke

“Armenians and Azerbaijanis in Stepanakert, capital of the Nagorno-Karabakh autonomous region, rioted over much needed spelling reform in the Soviet Union.”

Humor Funny Needed Unions Reform Regions Soviet Soviet Union Spelling Autonomous Armenians

Author:P. J. O'Rourke

“Politics should be limited in scope to ware, protection of property, and the occasional precautionary beheading of a member of the ruling class.”

Should Class Members Property Protection Ruling Scope Occasional

Author:P. J. O'Rourke