“I set a personal record on Christmas. I got my shopping done three weeks ahead of time. I had all the presents back at my apartment, I was halfway through wrapping them, and I realized, 'Damn, I used the wrong wrapping paper.' The paper I used said, 'Happy Birthday.' I didn't want to waste it, so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it.”
Quote by Demetri Martin
Author
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“Women still remember the first kiss after men have forgotten the last.”
“You can always count on Americans to do the right thing - after they've tried everything else.”
“The General was essentially a man of peace, except in his domestic life.”
Source: The Importance of Being Earnest and Other Plays: Lady Windermere's Fan; Salome; A Woman of No Importance; An Ideal Husband; The Importance of Being Earnest
“The appropriate age for marrige is around eighteen and thirty-seven for man”
“Women have all the power because women have all the vaginas.”
“Never marry a man you wouldn't want to be divorced from.”
Source: The Most of Nora Ephron
