Home / Quotes / Quote by Les Dawson

Quote by Les Dawson

“The wife's Mother said, ‘When you're dead, I'll dance in your grave.’ I said: ‘Good, I'm being buried at sea’.”

Quote by Les Dawson

Book:Les Dawson's Joke Book

Work

Les Dawson's Joke Book

Les Dawson's Joke Book is a collection of jokes curated by the renowned British comedian Les Dawson, showcasing his comedic wit and humor. more

Author

Les Dawson was a renowned British comedian, known for his unique humor style and performing talent. He was born on February 2, 1931, and passed away on June 10, 1993. Dawson's performances on television and stage were greatly appreciated by audiences, with his comedic works including 'Les Dawson Show' and 'Dawson's Run'. more

You May Also Like

“Compliments and criticism are all ultimately based on some form of projection.”

Form Criticism Compliment Projection

Author:Billy Corgan

“There's a tendency to attribute magical skills and knowledge to people who've been elevated in some way - appearing on TV, or having an impressive title, or coming from a wealthy family. There's often an assumption that these people possess some rare, mysterious qualities mere mortals lack. What crap.”

People Way Quality Tvs Skills Mere Tendencies Mysterious Mortals Titles Assumption Wealthy Attributes Crap Impressive Appearing Mere Mortals Skills And Knowledge

Author:Arlene Dickinson

“You need more than an idea to run a business”

Needs Ideas Running

Author:Arlene Dickinson

“I dont know how long Ill be trick or treating. Maybe Ill be 80 years old and still trick or treating.”

Knows Years Long Stills Know How Ill Tricks

Author:Kieran Culkin

“The only time the press doesn’t sensationalize information is when one of their own is kidnapped. Interesting how they show restraint then.”

Shows Interesting Information Presses Restraint Only Time Kidnapped

Author:Jim Norton

“The funniest people I know always seem to be the ones surrounded by darkness. And that’s probably why they’re the funniest. The deeper the pit, the more humor you need to dig yourself out of it.”

People Knows Needs Seems Darkness Deeper Pits

Author:Jim Norton

“It just seems like right now we’re in a place where people are being witch-hunted for expressing an opinion. Even if it’s a lousy opinion or a shitty opinion, and comics I don’t think can ever fall into the trap of any groups that want to censor what a person says or thinks or punish a person for expressing what they think. Anything you say about a social issue is going to offend half the country. I don’t care how nicely you say it, I don’t care how well you construct the joke, simply by stating the opinion, you are for something and anti something else.”

People Ifs Thinking Want Wells Persons Country Seems Care Fall Social Half Opinion Issues Groups Right Now Jokes Don't Care I Don't Care Witch Traps Constructs Social Issues Hunted

Author:Jim Norton

“While There may be power in forgiveness, there is even more power in lobbing a Molotov cocktail through someone's dining room window.”

May Funny Rooms Power Forgiveness Humorous Window Comedian Cocktails Dining Lobbying Dining Rooms Molotov Molotov Cocktail

Book:I Hate Your Guts

Source: I Hate Your Guts

“What a shock that a guy who makes $2 million a week behaves exactly like I would with $2 million a week. As far as I’m concerned, if you make $2 million a week and you don’t have a hooker in your hotel room, you’re creepy and I don’t trust you. And I don’t do drugs at all, so for me it would just be more prostitutes. That’s how they would find me. I would be dead on the floor, flattened by a pile of prostitutes. I’d look like a cat in a hoarders’ house.”

Ifs Looks Would Be Guy House Rooms Millions Week Drug Concerned Cat Behave Shock Hotel Find Me Creepy Don't Trust Hotel Rooms I Don't Trust You

Author:Jim Norton

“From now on, anyone raped at Penn State should just tell Joe Paterno's statue. It couldn't help you any less than the real Joe would have.”

Should Real States Helping Statues Penn State

Author:Jim Norton