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Quote by Daniel Tosh

“I hope we find a cure for every major disease, because I'm tired of walking 5K. I'm pretty sure I don't have to sweat for cancer. I'll write a check.”

Author

Daniel Tosh

Daniel Tosh is an American comedian, writer, and television host. He is known for his unique sense of humor and satirical commentary, best known for his work on the TBS comedy show 'Daniel Tosh Show'. more

“I'm all for women who get plastic surgery, because plastic surgery allows you to make your outer appearance resemble your inner appearance — fakeWe have shows like Extreme Make-Over: “I don't want to develop a personality, just cut my face! Stretch it and staple it. Now I'm happy, or at least I look like it.”

Want Looks Shows Humor Funny Faces Cutting Personality Appearance Extremes Plastic Surgery Plastic Surgery Staples Outer Appearance

Author:Daniel Tosh

“I have voices in my head, but they're all speaking Spanish, and I have NO idea what they're saying.”

Ideas Funny Voice Jokes No Idea Voices In My Head Speaking Spanish

Author:Daniel Tosh

“High school is just like glee, a bunch of people dying of drug overdose.”

People School Dying Drug High School Bunch Glee Overdose People Dying

Author:Daniel Tosh

“If you had to eat another human to survive, do you think they'd taste like their ethnic background?”

Ifs Thinking Humans Funny Taste Jokes Backgrounds Ethnic Background

Author:Daniel Tosh