Best Mitzvah Quotes | Short & Famous Sayings

“Well, when I was 13, for my bar mitzvah I received my first typewriter. And that was special.”

Firsts Wells Special Bars Typewriters Bar Mitzvah Mitzvah

“I was one of those kids who had books on them. Before weddings, Bar Mitzvahs, funerals and anything else where you're actually meant to not be reading, my family would frisk me and take the book away. If they didn't find it by this point in the procedure, I would be sitting over in that corner completely unnoticed just reading my book.”

Ifs Book Would Be Kids Reading Sitting My Family Corners Bars Funeral Procedures Unnoticed Bar Mitzvah Mitzvah

Author:Neil Gaiman

“When I am at home, I never go near the synagogue unless, say, there is a bar or bat mitzvah involving the children of friends. But when I am traveling, in a country where Jewish life is scarce or endangered, I often make a visit to the shul.”

Children Country Home Life Is Bars Bats Involving Scarce Synagogue Mitzvah Jewish Life Bat Mitzvah

Book:Christopher Hitchens and His Critics: Terror, Iraq, and the Left

Source: Christopher Hitchens and His Critics: Terror, Iraq, and the Left

“I'm not a lawyer I'm a kind of mouthpiece/activist type, though occasionally they shave me and stuff me into my Bar Mitzvah suit and send me to a standards body or the UN to stir up trouble. I spend about three weeks a month on the road doing completely weird stuff like going to Microsoft to talk about DRM.”

Source: Content: Selected Essays on Technology, Creativity, Copyright, and the Future of the Future

“I was 13 or 14 and I met Donald Trump at a bar mitzvah of a good friend of ours, who's friends with him. He had his girlfriend at the time with him, that Melania with him. He said, 'Hey guys, if you work hard and be successful, you'll get one of these.' I'll never forget that. And now he's married to her.”

Ifs Said Hard Guy Forget Successful Hard Work Trump Mets Married Bars Hey Girlfriend Being Successful Never Forget Hockey Good Friend Nhl Bar Mitzvah Mitzvah

Author:Jason Spezza

“I used to limp around my neighborhood imitating him. I did my Bar Mitzvah with an Oklahoma drawl.”

Used Baseball Bars Neighborhood Imitating Oklahoma Bar Mitzvah Mitzvah

Author:Billy Crystal

“When I sing along with Britney Spears I will sing in an American accent. But eventually I found my own voice. My songs are so brutally honest, it would be alien to sing in any accent other than my own. Don't get me wrong - I can imitate singers. I can do bar mitzvahs and weddings.”

I Can Would Be Song Found Voice Can Do My Own Honest Singers Bars Aliens Accents Spears Bar Mitzvah Brutally Honest Mitzvah

Author:Ellie Goulding

“People need what they think of as a poem to be read at their bar mitzvah, their wedding, a funeral, whatever. And people are looking for hope and inspiration. I understand that.”

People Thinking Needs Inspiration Bars Funeral Bar Mitzvah Mitzvah

Author:Joan Larkin

“You can find old Jewish newspapers from Detroit that have my promotional ad in them. It was a totally insane time in my life. Paul Rudd was also a bar mitzvah emcee, you know? It was like being a local rock star in Detroit.”

Knows Stars Rocks Newspapers Bars Locals Insane Ads Rock Star Detroit Bar Mitzvah Mitzvah Emcee

Author:James Wolk

“My parents' convictions, when it came to discipline, were not very strong. For my bar mitzvah, I gave out a mix tape of '90s grunge - if you got it now, you would think it was the 'Singles' soundtrack.”

Ifs Thinking Strong Parent Discipline Conviction Bars Very Strong Tape Singles Soundtracks Grunge Bar Mitzvah Mitzvah

Author:Adam Pally

“The town I grew up in was at least fifty percent Jewish, so every weekend in the 7th grade, we went to Bar and Bat Mitzvahs.”

Grew Grew Up Percent Towns Bars Fifty Grades Weekend Bats Mitzvah Bat Mitzvah

Author:Vanessa Bayer

“A mitzvah that costs money is worth more than one that costs nothing.”

Cost Mitzvah

Author:Nachman of Breslov

“When I was 13 and 14, there were a lot of jokes about my bar mitzvah and my grandparents, and then when I got older, it became more about touching boobs and trying to get liquor, you know? I kind of ran the gamut of infantile behavior... And I haven't moved one step forward since.”

Trying Kind Steps Havens Behavior Jokes Moved Bars Ran Touching Grandparent Liquor Steps Forward Infantile Bar Mitzvah Mitzvah

Author:Seth Rogen

“For a degenerate like me, Vegas is like a walk down memory lane. Last time I went to Vegas, I went to my old coke dealer's kid's bar mitzvah.”

Kids Lasts Memories Walks Bars Like Me Last Time Vegas Lanes Dealer Coke Degenerates Bar Mitzvah Mitzvah Memory Lane

Author:Artie Lange

“I don't remember much about my bar mitzvah. The only thing I remember - I killed! That's what I remembered. Nobody could follow me at my bar-mitzvah. It was over when I was done.”

Done Remember Bars Remembered Follow Me Bar Mitzvah Mitzvah

Author:Andy Kindler

“I was Jewish, through and through, although in our house that didn't mean a whole lot. We never went to synagogue. I never had a Bar Mitzvah. We didn't keep kosher or observe the Sabbath. In fact, I'm not so sure I would have known what the Sabbath looked like if it passed me on the street, so how could I observe it?”

Ifs Mean Whole Facts House Known Streets Bars Sabbath Synagogue Bar Mitzvah Mitzvah Kosher

Author:Gilbert Gottfried

“I had already been a young singer. And once, as a profession, I was a young singer, what you would call a soprano in England, but I was an alto in singing Jewish music in bar mitzvahs and weddings and synagogues throughout New York City because, after Israel, New York is probably the biggest Jewish community in the world.”

World Young Community Cities New York Singing England Israel Profession Singers Bars New York City Sopranos Synagogue Jewish Community Bar Mitzvah Mitzvah

Author:Charlemagne Palestine

“I never really liked "cool" books. I plowed through as much Borges and Joyce as possible, read the first half of V. and spent whole Bar Mitzvah checks on Beat poetry.”

Firsts Book Whole Half Beats Bars Checks Joyce Borges Bar Mitzvah Mitzvah

Author:Simon Rich

“I would love to host someone's bar mitzvah. I would love to do that.”

Bars Host Bar Mitzvah Mitzvah

Author:Ilana Glazer

“I met Evan Goldberg at bar-mitzvah class. It was called tallis and tefillin.”

Class Mets Bars Bar Mitzvah Mitzvah

Author:Seth Rogen

“There was a year straight where every weekend, I went to at least one bar mitzvah or bat mitzvah, and we would all go, and it was a lot of fun. We sneak some beer; we'd hang out; we would try to get with girls and not. And usually we'd just end up hanging out together alone.”

Trying Years Ends Together Girl Fun Bars Beer Hanging Out Weekend Bats Sneak Bar Mitzvah Mitzvah Bat Mitzvah

Author:Seth Rogen

“There were lots of little boys having their bar mitzvahs all over the world, and they sent me tapes of some of them that they interviewed, probably six or seven little boys, and there was something about Mendel. I just loved his little face. I loved the energy of Mendel.”

World Littles Faces Energy Boys Six Seven Bars Tape Little Boys Bar Mitzvah Mitzvah Mendel

Author:Oprah Winfrey

“I just had - we had instances - like, for instance, when I turned 13, she threw me a bar mitzvah. But nobody came.But nobody came because nobody knew what the hell that was. I only had black friends. No one knows what the hell you're doing.”

Knows Black Hell Bars Instance Bar Mitzvah Mitzvah

Author:Trevor Noah

“[I had Bar mitzvah ]it was just me and my mom. And she's celebrating. And she's reading things to me in Hebrew. I don't know what's going on. And she's telling me that now I'm a man. And I'm like, does that mean I have no chores? And she's like, no, you still have chores, but you're a man. I didn't understand most of it.”

Knows Men Mean Doe Stills Reading Mom My Mom Bars Celebrate Hebrew Chores Bar Mitzvah Mitzvah

Author:Trevor Noah

“Ironically, my rabbi was a bar mitzvah Nazi. So I got bar mitzvahed. And though I didn't want to, the theme of my bar mitzvah party was Madonna.”

Want Party Bars Theme Nazi Rabbi Bar Mitzvah Mitzvah

Author:Billy Eichner

“I played in front of every conceivable audience you could face: an all-black audience, all-white, firemen's fairs, policemen's balls, in front of supermarkets, bar mitzvahs, weddings, drive-in theaters. I'd seen it all before I ever walked into a recording studio.”

Faces Black White Audience Fronts Fairs Balls Theater Studios Bars Policemen Supermarkets Fireman All Black Recording Studio Bar Mitzvah Mitzvah

Author:Bruce Springsteen

“Allowing yourself to stop reading a book - at page 25, 50, or even, less frequently, a few chapters from the end - is a rite of passage in a reader's life, the literary equivalent of a bar mitzvah or a communion, the moment at which you look at yourself and announce: Today I am an adult. I can make my own decisions.”

Source: So Many Books, So Little Time: A Year of Passionate Reading

“When 1:45 came, half the class left, and Danny Hupfer whispered, "If she gives you a cream puff after we leave, I'm going to kill you" - which was not something that someone headed off to prepare for his bar mitzvah should be thinking. When 1:55 came and the other half of the class left, Meryl Lee whispered, "If she gives you one after we leave, I'm going to do Number 408 to you." I didn't remember what Number 408 was, but it was probably pretty close to what Danny Hupfer had promised. Even Mai Thi looked at me with narrowed eyes and said, "I know your home." Which sounded pretty ominous.”

Ifs Thinking Knows Giving Should Said Home Eye Remember Left Numbers Half Class Bars Cream Other Half Puff Ominous Bar Mitzvah Mitzvah Cream Puffs

Book:The Wednesday Wars

Source: The Wednesday Wars

“My parents would frisk me before family events. Before weddings, funerals, bar mitzvahs, and what have you. Because if they didn't, then the book would be hidden inside some pocket or other and as soon as whatever it was got under way I'd be found in a corner. That was who I was...that was what I did. I was the kid with the book.”

Ifs Way Book Would Be Kids Found Parent Events Corners Bars Pockets Funeral Bar Mitzvah Mitzvah

Author:Neil Gaiman

“It is a great mitzvah to be happy always.”

Happiness Mitzvah

Author:Nachman of Breslov

“When I wasn’t working on Broadway, I worked in a Bat Mitzvah dress shop and was the Cinderella of the shop - always cleaning and vacuuming!”

Dresses Shops Bats Broadway Cleaning Mitzvah Bat Mitzvah

Author:Lea Michele

“I had a bat mitzvah, was confirmed, went to Jewish summer camp, I go to temple for the High Holy Days. I think, like most people in their early 20s, I kind of strayed away from it. I think once I have a family I'll be back into it”

People Thinking Kind Holy Summer Temples Camps Bats Early 20s Summer Camp Mitzvah Holy Days Lizzy Bat Mitzvah

Author:Lizzy Caplan

“Posing on the red carpet feels like you're selling something that has nothing to do with you. If you do it with someone else, it's like we're saying, 'Oh! We come as a pair! Would you like to buy both of us? We're available for weddings and Bar Mitzvahs!'”

Ifs Feels Like You Red Available Bars Selling Pairs Carpet Red Carpet Posing Bar Mitzvah Mitzvah Selling Something

Author:Carey Mulligan

“In high school, I taught dance classes for 3-year-olds up to 16-year-olds, so between that and some bat mitzvah money, I saved up a pretty good nest egg to move to L.A.”

Years School Moving Class Taught High School Saved Eggs Bats Nests Dance Class Mitzvah Bat Mitzvah

Author:Dianna Agron

“Everyone in my grade is turning 13, so there are bunches of bar and bat mitzvahs. They're very dressy. It's fun picking out outfits. One girl, for her bat mitzvah, wore a huge red ball gown!”

Girl Fun Huge Red Balls Bars Bunch Grades Bats Gowns Outfits Mitzvah Bat Mitzvah

Author:Elle Fanning

“I am terminally sentimental about graduations. They are more individual than weddings, more conscious than christenings, or bar mitzvahs or bat mitzvahs. They are almost as much a step into the unknown as funerals-though I assure you, there is life after graduation.”

Individual Steps Conscious Bars Memorable Funeral Graduation Bats Sentimental Funny Graduation Bar Mitzvah Mitzvah Christening Bat Mitzvah

Author:Gloria Steinem

“Clear, crisp, and compelling. . . . Mitzvah Girls is a thoughtful look at the world of Jewish girls who grow up in 21st-century America, but don't really.”

World Looks America Girl Grows Growing Up Clear Century Thoughtful Compelling 21st Century Crisps Mitzvah

Author:David Wolpe

“If a girl comes to me first for a prom or a bar mitzvah and she likes the way she looks and her boyfriend likes the way she looks, she'll come back.”

Ifs Way Firsts Looks Girl Bars Likes Prom Bar Mitzvah Mitzvah

Author:Betsey Johnson

“I'm the star of stage, screen, and television now, but I'm also available for children's parties and bar mitzvahs.”

Children Stars Party Stage Television Available Screens Bars Bar Mitzvah Mitzvah

Author:Chris Isaak

“I'm not a boy now. I'm a man, I hope. I hope I've had my artistic bar mitzvah somewhere.”

Men Boys Bars Artistic Bar Mitzvah Mitzvah

Author:Jeremy Piven

“The fact is that people who strap bombs to their bodies to blow up families at a Bar Mitzvah in Israel, plant bombs at a nightclub in Bali, or slit stewardesses' throats and ram airplanes filled with innocent Americans into office buildings do not do so for any reason related to poverty. They do so because they hold evil beliefs and have deformed consciences”

“I grew up in a secular suburban Jewish household where we only observed the religion on very specific times like a funeral or a Bar Mitzvah.”

Grew Grew Up Bars Funeral Household Secular Bar Mitzvah Mitzvah

Author:Jesse Eisenberg

“I feel like when I was 13 and I had to go to bar mitzvahs every weekend. This is the same feeling. You have to put on a suit every weekend to go meet with a bunch of Jews.”

Feels Feelings Jew Bars Bunch Suits Weekend Bar Mitzvah Mitzvah

Author:Jesse Eisenberg

“This is hands down the biggest, most exciting thing I've ever been involved with in my life. I can only compare it to my Bar Mitzvah.”

I Can Hands Involved Exciting Bars Compare Exciting Things Bar Mitzvah Mitzvah

Author:Shia LaBeouf

“I was kosher until I had my Bar Mitzvah, and I parlayed officially becoming a man into telling my father I wanted to eat cheeseburgers.”

Men Wanted Father Becoming Bars Cheeseburger Bar Mitzvah Mitzvah Becoming A Man Kosher

Author:Zach Braff

“Being a writer in Hollywood is like going to Hitler's Eagle Nest with a great idea for a bar mitzvah.”

Ideas Film Hollywood Bars Eagles Nests Great Idea Bar Mitzvah Mitzvah

Author:David Mamet

“I suppose the nearest equivalent to a bar mitzvah in terms of emotional build-up would probably not even be one's wedding day, but one's coronation.”

Term Emotional Bars Wedding Day Bar Mitzvah Mitzvah Coronation

Book:Past-It Notes

Source: Past-It Notes

“When I celebrated my bar mitzvah, there was no cake. Today, there is no such thing as a bar mitzvah in the United States without a special cake. It can be even more complicated and expensive than a wedding cake, because bar-mitzvah cakes are often based on a particular theme.”

States Today United United States Special Particular Complicated Bars Theme Expensive Cake Bar Mitzvah Mitzvah Wedding Cake

Author:Ron Ben-Israel

“I struggled with being a Latino growing up in Los Angeles. I felt very American. I still do. I went to 35 bar mitzvahs before I went to a single quinceanera. I could talk all day about my culture and what it means to me.”

Mean Stills Culture Felt Growing Up Growing Bars Los Angeles Latino Bar Mitzvah Mitzvah

Author:America Ferrera

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