“Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.”
Quote by Rita Rudner
Author
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Source: Dave Barry's History of the Millennium (So Far)
“Without Valentine's Day, February would be... well, January.”
“We sent out 3,000 Valentines to the ladies, asking them to be my voter.”
“I was in a band called The Valentines and they broke up last week.”
“I feel bad for people who die on Valentine's Day. How much would flowers cost then, ten grand?”
Source: Alice, Let's Eat: Further Adventures of a Happy Eater
“Violence is the way stupid people try to level the playing field.”
Source: Nothing Lost
“The best number for a dinner party is two; myself and a damn good head waiter.”
