“Me: “Oh no, it looks like the TV is broken.”
Rose: “We need to move.”
Source: Don't Dance on the Toilet, and Other Things I Never Thought I'd Say to My Kids
“Rewiring Divinity, 2732
(Diary of A Monk Scientist)
One thing you must realize,
there is no absolute truth in this world,
whatever you put your life and mind into, goes.
I found the world's perception
of religion prehistoric,
so I poured my existence into rewiring
the very reality of divinity -
because, there is no other divinity out there,
whatever we humans come up with, goes -
and if some prehistoric baboons with two brain cells
could normalize blind faith as divinity,
then a human being with a hundred billion nerve cells,
could cast aside such blindness and redo divinity
from ground up, and this time, not as a coping mechanism
against the unknown, but as enhancement of our humanity.”
Source: Nazmahal: Palace of Grace
“Look, girls, the Easter bunny is here at the mall," I said. "Do you want to go say hello?”
Rose peeked over the picket fence around the photo area. She cocked an eyebrow. “Mom,” she said, “Why is the Easter Bunny hiding inside that scary costume?”
Source: Don't Dance on the Toilet, and Other Things I Never Thought I'd Say to My Kids
“I took the boys [ages 2, 5 & 7] to Olan Mills Photo Studio to get a portrait made of them. The photographer was a young woman. She arranged them several different ways to get good photos for us. At one point she had them lined up in a row and said, “Cross your arms.” All three instantly crossed their arms across their chests as we do to receive Holy Communion. The photographer, surprised, exclaimed, “Not like you're dead!”
Source: “Do birds know all their letters?”: Funny Book of Quotes
“Can we stop talking about my pants, please?”
Source: Danny Mann Super Fan
“Beep deedly oden boden bodash skadutendaten.”
Source: Danny Mann Super Fan
“In my school, if your skirt is just one centimetre too short, they make you change into the stinkiest, skankiest pair of lime green joggers they can find in the lost property box, with stains that you really don’t want to know
where they came from and the stench of a thousand backsides.”
Source: Eco Worrier
“The rumour was that he wrestled gorillas in his spare time, two at a time, although to be honest, why London Zoo would let him wrestle one, let alone two of their Gorillas Marty wasn't sure.”
Source: Eco Worrier
“He looked like he probably disliked garlic and sunlight a lot, and his idea of a tasty snack was something he sucked out of someone’s neck in the middle of the night.”
Source: Eco Worrier
“I planted a rose bush and Stephen, age 2, asked, “Can I bless the rose?” I said yes and he did the sign of the cross over the rose bush. Then he turned to me and said, “Can I bless the hose?” And so he did.”
Source: “Do birds know all their letters?”: Funny Book of Quotes