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Quote by Roy Manterfield

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Roy Manterfield

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“What does it mean that those trees and mountains out there are not magic but real?' I'd yell, pointing outdoors. 'What?' they'd say. 'It means that those trees and mountains out there are not magic but real.' 'Yeah?' Then I'd say, 'What does it mean that those trees and mountains aren't real at all, just magic?' 'Oh come on.' 'It means that those trees and mountains aren't real at all, just magic.' 'Well which is it, goddammit!' 'What does it mean that you ask, well which is it goddammit?' I yelled. 'Well what?' 'It means that you ask well which is it goddammit.' 'Oh go bury your head in your sleeping bag, bring me a cup of that hot coffee.”

PhilosophyHumorFunnyExistenceHumour
Book:The Dharma Bums
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“Mrs. Ph(i)Nk0's great secret is that she never aroused any jealousy among us. Or any gossip, either. The fact that she went to bed with her friend, Mr. De XuaeauX, was well known. But in a point, if there's a bed, it takes up the whole point, so it isn't a question of *going* to bed, but of *being* there, because anybody in the point is also in the bed. Consequently, it was inevitable that she should be in bed also with each of us.”

HumorHumour
Book:Cosmicomics
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“In Ancient Greek days, they’d had a crush on me, which was uncomfortable, but at least understandable. Then – if you can believe it – they got over me. For the past few centuries they’d been in the Ganymede Fan Club. Their Instagod posts about how hot he was got so annoying, I finally had to leave a snarky comment. You know that meme with the honey bear and the caption honey, he gay? Yes, I created that. And in Ganymede’s case, it was hardly news. These days they’d decided to have a collective crush on Deimos, the god of fear, which just made no romantic sense to me. Sure, he’s buff, and he has nice eyes, but… Wait. What was I talking about again?”

HumourCrushApollo
Book:The Tower of Nero
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“Words never passed between us, only a nod and a silent smirk as he overtook me. Which was problematic today. It was cold, and pissing rain, and I wasn't in the mood to slow my pace and let him get ahead of me. Sure, it made him feel all manly and superior, but a girl has to draw the line somewhere. There are times to pander to the male ego and times to force them to watch your arse as you surpass them.”

HumourRomantic SuspenseWomen S FictionStrong Female LeadFeminist FictionVoiceySarcastic HeroineSnarky Heroine
Book:Bane
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“Every race has its own qualities and affinities! Why, take us dwarves, for example. We are the finest smiths in all the realms! Except the elves. Their work is finer. But of course, no one can match us dwarves for strength! Except the elves: they are far stronger than we. And then there are wizards, who are the wisest of all peoples. Wisest of all, that is, save the elves. Ah, and then we have men! The most fearless and ingenious and creative of all speaking species! Second only to elves, who are more fearless, and more ingenious, and more creative. But then we have goblins like yourself, Plumleaf, who have sharp eyes and silent feet, and can see in darkness better than all other races. All other races but elves, who can see far better in the dark than any other-”

FantasyHumourFairy TalesSatiricalDwarvesElvesGoblins
Book:Plumleaf the Goblin: A Short Story
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