Quotessence
Home / Quotes / Quote by Justin Halpern

Quote by Justin Halpern

Work

Sh*t My Dad Says

This book compiles a series of tweets that showcase the humorous and often unconventional advice and observations of a father to his son. The content is characterized by its wit and the unique perspective of a parent-child relationship. more

Author

Justin Halpern
Justin Halpern

Justin Halpern is an American author known for his memoir 'I'm Just a Guy, I'm Not a Drug Dealer'. The book is based on his personal experiences and tells the story of his journey from a typical teenager to a successful writer. more

You May Also Like

“Grinding his teeth, he shoved his hands into the sudsy water and splashed it onto his face. Steam drifted above the pale suds, thin and insubstantial before dissipating. The scalding water burned his face, but the pain was worth it. It tethered him to reality and the reminder that he could not fail. Not again. Please, please give me courage. It was his heart’s cry and his soul’s plea. He needed the courage to stand strong. Needed the courage to speak up.”

ChristianFantasyBabiesProlifeChristian Fantasy
Book:Shattered Revelation
Create image

“Have you seen those kids nowadays? What they’re like? They’re f****** nightmares. And you do feel like strangling them. At times. They scream like banshees or maniacs. They’re mini sociopaths in the making. It should be illegal to scream like they do. It’s criminal. They should be arrested or silenced with———————. Yeah, whatever. While you wonder why the f*** they’re screaming like crazy, their mom shows up and tell you that they actually sh** their pants. Sorry. ‘Diapers.’ They sh** their ‘diapers’. So, take a hint. And turns out that all along, they were hungry, thirsty for coconut water. Or is it milk? Oh that’s right, ‘nuts.’ Babies are pros at juggling nuts while having colic nanoseconds ago. Either way, they’re diminutive unruly monsters whose terrorizing skills should not be underestimated.”

TerrorBabies
Author:unknown.
Create image

“What man is interested in someone else’s baby? First and foremost, that baby is the living embodiment of some other male’s success in mating. Mating is our biological imperative and the father of the wretched thing won; beat us in this biological imperative. We’re the loser. We’ve let him succeed in perpetuating his genes.”

HumorPregnancyManhoodBabies
Book:The Testosterone Principles 2: Manhood and Other Stuff
Create image