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11 Laws of Likability

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Michelle Tillis Lederman

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“You know, everyone says the duchess is such a terrible mistress, but you don't seem to be that afraid of her." "I'm not," Cinderella admitted. "I've seen real cruelty, and the duchess is not even close. She can be difficult, but her heart is in the right place. Besides, she likes Bruno, and since adopting him, she's been kind to me." "Maybe, but I think there's more to it than Bruno," determined Louisa. "You just seem so cheerful, Cinderella- cheerful yet sad. I don't know how to explain it, but I bet people find it difficult being angry with you. I wonder if that's why the duchess likes you so much. Even Aunt Irmina does, even if she won't admit it.”

“Garrance winks as Juju jumps onto my lap. "It appears that Juju likes you too." Feeling out of sorts, I stroke the cat's head, look down at him. He's weighing my thighs down, and I like the way it feels, all warm. I also love his loud purrs. He's nothing like a rat. "The big lug is kind of growing on me," I say, stroking his chin, and Garrance grins.”

“The Chair [Justice Peter McClellan, former Chair of the Royal Commission into Institutional Responses to Child Sexual Abuse] seemed to see where he was going with this. 'Cardinal, you keep referencing back to authority and structural responsibility, but it is the case, isn't it, that within the Church you would expect and indeed might I suggest the community would expect - that each priest would act responsibly, regardless of their position?" He was met again with some vintage obfuscation, capped off with a familiar Pell trope: you people just don't understand my Church. 'To understand the Catholic Church's structure and who has authority, you go to Church law, and according to the canon law of the Church, you can there identify the different levels of responsibility - it might be a jurisdictional responsibility; it might be a moral responsibility at different levels. But it's from the canon law that you decide what the situation is within the Church.' And here the Chair got to the nub of Pell's true thinking on this, the bubble he finds himself in, where the ordinary rules of morality, decency and even criminal responsibility are leavened to varying degrees by byzantine Church structures. (p.203)”

“invalidation is crazy-making, and it is also at the root of gaslighting, where victims' feelings are purposely denied or manipulated in order to make them question their sanity.”