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Toyo Shibata

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“One of my favourite things to do is to show people how much they can shine! I am absolutely in love with watching people step into their full capacity to illuminate. Self-love does not cause arrogance; it is insecurity and abandonment at the root of arrogance. At the root of arrogance you'll find low self esteem. There is space enough for everyone to shine just like there is space enough for all of the stars in the sky. There's nothing I dislike more than people who have to dim down another's light because they're afraid of it. Let a person be the luminary that they are.”

“When Margaret Thatcher transitioned her speaking voice to a more male register to be listened to by men of the House of Commons, she was not scrutinised in the same way a trans man would be - her voice was mainly praised ... becoming more masculine is always [socially] favoured over perceived femininity.”

“Childhood trauma can range from having faces extreme violence and neglect to having confronted feelings of not belonging, being unwanted, or being chronically misunderstood. You may have grown up in an environment where your curiosity and enthusiasm were constantly devalued. Perhaps you were brought up in a family where your parents had unresolved traumas of their own, which impaired their ability to attend to your emotional needs. Or, you may have faced vicious sexual or physical attacks. In all such situations, you learn to compensate by developing defenses around your most vulnerabe parts.”

“Begin to nurture yourself…Some grew up expecting their romantic partners to give them the nurturing they hungered for, only to be disappointed. But our partners are not our parents, no matter how much we try to make them into parents. No one can make up for the deprivation you experienced, and no one should be expected to.”