“I urge all Texans to answer the call to serve those in need. By volunteering their time, energy or resources to helping others, adults and youngsters follow Christ's message of love and service in thought and deed. Therefore I, George W. Bush, Governor of Texas, do hereby proclaim June 10, 2000, Jesus Day in Texas and urge the appropriate recognition whereof. In official recognition whereof, I hereby affix my signature this 17th day of March, 2000.” NeedsHelpingHumorPoliticalJesusEnergyChristAnswersMessagesAdultsResourcesDeedsHelping OthersRecognitionOfficialsAppropriateUrgesTexasGovernorsVolunteerJuneAprilSignaturesYoungstersPolitical HumorTexanThose In Need Author:George W. Bush
“Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults.” HumorFunnyFoodAdultsCookingCulinaryCheeseCheesyMacaroniMacaroni And CheeseGrilled CheeseBlue Cheese Author:Mitch Hedberg
“As an adult, I'm not supposed to go down slides. So if I'm at the top of a slide, I have to pretend that I got there accidentally. "How the hell did I get up here? I guess I have to slide down. Whee!" That's what you say when you're having fun. You refer to yourself and some other people.” PeopleIfsHumorFunnyFunHellAdultsGet UpHaving FunSlides Author:Mitch Hedberg
“Now, I meant to talk about something else earlier on, and I've forgotten what it was. I've remembered what it is again, but I've also forgotten. And that's really what adult life is like most of the time.” HumorFunnyLife IsAdultsForgottenRememberedLife Is Like Author:Dylan Moran
“If you are an adult, and you are planning to dress up on Halloween... don't. I will find you. I will hurt you.” IfsHumorFunnyHurtAdultsDressesPlanningHalloween Author:Lewis Black
“They don't tend to feature the kind of vaginas I like in adult films. I tend to like a thick, heavy pussy - the kind of pussy that looks like it just smoked an exploding cartoon cigar.” LooksKindHumorFunnyFilmAdultsHeavyFeaturesThickCartoonCigarPussyExploding Author:Jim Norton
“When I was a kid I would write songs, little plays, and poetry in school. If you're an adult and you're a poet, it's all about love and pain, but if you're a kid it's, "Does anyone know a word that rhymes with shark?"” IfsKnowsWritingLittlesDoePlayHumorKidsSchoolFunnyPainSongPoetAdultsRhymeSharksLove And Pain Author:Mike Birbiglia
“Nobody is excused from the excellence trend. Babies are not excused. Starting right after they get out of the womb, modern babies are exposed to instructional flashcards designed to make them the best babies they can possibly be, so they can get into today's competitive preschools. Your eighties baby sees so many flashcards that he never gets an unobstructed view of his parents' faces. As an adult, he'll carry around a little wallet card that says "7x9=63," because it will remind him of mother.” ChildrenLittlesHumorKidsTodayFunnyFacesMotherParentViewsModernBabyHumorousAdultsExcellenceStartingCardsTrendsExposedWombEightyWallets Author:Dave Barry
“It's very easy to turn a toy into an adult toy: Location, location, location.” HumorFunnyTurnsEasyComedyAdultsToysLocation Author:Demetri Martin