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Bad Jokes Quotes

Browse 24 quotes about Bad Jokes.

Bad Jokes Quotes

“Other than his ex-wife and despite appearances with a series of cultivated blondes, Edward de Bono has never publicly aligned himself with a woman. 'I’m looking for a fat, cross-eyed hunchback,' he explains, stifling a giggle. 'A prosthetic hump would do.' His delight evaporates when asked about his three grandchildren. 'Am I a doting grandfather?' He pauses. 'I’m a … something grandfather, yes.' The fact that De Bono remains unperturbed by this lack betrays an emotionally austere childhood, and his passions for play, toys, and bad jokes tell of the same deprivation.”

PlayFactsPassionThreeWifeChildhoodJokesCrossesRemainsSeriesDelightAppearanceFatsDespiteBetrayToysGrandfatherPausesGrandchildrenExesDeprivationGiggleStiflingEx WifeProstheticsBad JokesHis Ex
Author:Antonella Gambotto-Burke
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“The two-party system is a bad joke on the American people; when it comes to Republicans and Democrats remember they are two sides of the same coin. Voting for the lesser of two evils is still a vote for evil and not an answer to our problems. A vote for a Republican or a Democrat will not fix anything and is a wasted vote.”

PeopleStillsTwoProblemRememberEvilSidesAnswersPartyRepublicanJokesVoteDemocratVotingCoinsTwo SidesLesser EvilTwo EvilsTwo Party SystemLesser Of Two EvilsBad Jokes
Author:Aaron Russo
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“Keep your shirt on," she said with a laugh at her bad joke. "Your clothes are at the laundry. They'll deliver them as soon as they're ready." "And in the meantime?" "Looks like you're naked." His jaw worked as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing. "I beg your pardon?" "Beg all you want, you're still going to be naked." Tabitha paused at the wicked image in her mind. "Come to think of it, a gorgeous, begging, naked man… that's the stuff of fantasies. Begging won't get you your clothes, but it could get you something else." She wiggled her eyebrows at him.”

IfsThinkingMenWantMindBelieveLooksSaidStillsStuffFantasyLaughingReadyLike YouClothesJokesHearingNakedShirtsWickedGorgeousEyebrowsPardonBeggingLaundryBad Jokes
Author:Sherrilyn Kenyon
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“A cowboy, a lawyer, and a mechanic watched Queen of the Damned,” I murmured. Warren—who had once, a long time ago, been a cowboy—snickered and wiggled his bare feet. “It could be the beginning of either a bad joke or a horror story.” “No,” said Kyle, the lawyer, whose head was propped up on my thigh. “If you want a horror story, you have to start out with a werewolf, his gorgeous lover, and a walker.”

IfsWantLongSaidStoriesFeetLoversHorrorLong TimeJokesLawyerQueensCowboyMechanicGorgeousLong Time AgoWerewolfThighsWalkersHorror StoriesBare FeetBad Jokes
Book:The Mercy Thompson Collection
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“Don't talk like one of them. You're not! Even if you'd like to be. To them, you're just a freak, like me! They need you right now, but when they don't, they'll cast you out, like a leper! You see, their morals, their code, it's a bad joke. Dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you. When the chips are down, these... these civilized people, they'll eat each other. See, I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve. -The Joker”

PeopleIfsWorldNeedsFirstsShowsDarkMoralTroubleRight NowJokesCastsMonstersLike MeCodeCivilizedFreakCurvesChipsNeed YouKnightsDark NightInterrogationTrilogiesLeperBad JokesBatman Dark Knight
Author:Christopher Nolan
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“Raphael continued to stare at me, in no hurry to get started. "You know the best way to get rid of a demon, right?" He asked with a serious face. I caught Ivy rolling her eyes as I shook my head. "Exorcise alot!" Ivy caught my expression of dismay. "It's okay, Beth. He's famous for his bad jokes. We're still waiting for him to grow up." "And like Peter Pan, I hope to avoid that at all costs.”

KnowsWayStillsEyeFacesGrowsWaitingGrowing UpSeriousExpressionCostJokesOkayCaughtBest WayStaringDemonPeterRollingHer EyesIvyDismayRaphaelBethBad JokesSerious Face
Author:Alexandra Adornetto
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“It was a strange feeling going into a church I did not know for a service that I did not really believe in, but once inside I couldn't help a feeling of warmth and security. Outside there were wars and road accidents and murders, striptease clubs and battered babies and frayed tempers and unhappy marriages and people contemplating suicide and bad jokes, but once in St. Martin's there was peace. Surely people go to church not to involve themselves in the world's problems but to escape from them.”

PeopleKnowsWorldBelieveWarHelpingFeelingsProblemChurchSecurityStrangeBabyJokesMurderSuicideClubsAccidentsUnhappyWarmthTemperContemplatingHappy MarriageBatteredUnhappy MarriageBad Jokes
Author:Michael Palin
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“Even after the Super Bowl victory of the New Orleans Saints, I have noticed a large number of people implying, with bad jokes, that Cajuns aren't smart. I would like to state for the record that I disagree with that assessment. Anybody that would build a city 5 feet below sea level in a hurricane zone and fill it with Democrats who can't swim is a genius.”

PeopleStatesLevelsNumbersCitiesRecordsSeaFeetGeniusVictorySmartJokesDemocratSaintZoneSwimDisagreeBowlsNew OrleansHurricanesLarge NumbersAssessmentSuper BowlImplyingBad JokesCajuns
Author:Larry the Cable Guy
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“We suppose that could be considered a hedged position for the awards committee, one that would never occur in the hard sciences such as physics and chemistry, where a prize shared among three with divergent views would be an embarrassing mistake or a bad joke. While a Nobel Prize might well be the culmination of a life’s work, shouldn’t the work accurately describe the real world?”

WorldWellsRealHardMightWould BeThreeViewsMistakePositionJokesPhysicsPrizeAwardsChemistryReal WorldCommitteesEmbarrassingNobelDivergentNobel PrizeCulminationBad Jokes
Author:Seth Klarman
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