“I admire the serene assurance of those who have religious faith. It is wonderful to observe the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.” HumorChristianFunnyBeliefReligiousFourWonderfulCalmAdmireSuperstitionsAssuranceReligious FaithSereneAces Author:Mark Twain
“The nephew revenges himself for this, by holding his breath and terrifying his kinswoman with the dread belief that he has made up his mind to burst. Regardless of whispers and shakes, he swells and becomes discoloured, and yet again swells and becomes discoloured, until the aunt can bear it no longer, but leads him out, with no visible neck, and with his eyes going before him like a prawn's.” MindMadeEyeFunnyBeliefBearsHumorousBreathsRevengeHis EyesVisibleNecksShakesDreadAuntNephewPrawns Book:Novels Source: Novels
“Some medical beast had revived tar-water in those days as a fine medicine, and Mrs. Joe always kept a supply of it in the cupboard; having a belief in its virtues correspondent to its nastiness. At the best of times, so much of this elixir was administered to me as a choice restorative, that I was conscious of going about, smelling like a new fence.” FunnyChoicesBeliefWaterVirtueFineExpectationsConsciousHumorousMedicineMedicalBeastFenceGreat ExpectationsCupboardsElixirNastinessGreat Expectations Important Book:Great Expectations Source: Great Expectations
“He was all emotion all the time, constantly talking about his feelings and his profound love for her. He was minutes from getting his first period. He wrote poems too. It's my personal belief that if men are writing poems, they're making up for something else like a big hair back, or one ball. Not that one ball is a bad thing. Especially since I don't know any females who are dying to their their hands on a set of balls. The way I see it, the less balls, the better.” IfsKnowsMenWayWritingFirstsFeelingsHumorHandsBigsFunnyBeliefEmotionTalkingMinutesDyingHairPeriodsFemaleBallsProfoundBad ThingsMaking UpLove For HerWriting PoemsPersonal BeliefsBig HairProfound Love Author:Chelsea Handler
“That ideology was never going to work, was it? It was just cobbled together from different beliefs: The anti-intellectualism of the Khmer Rouge, the religious persecution of the Nazis, the enforced beard-wearing from the world of folk music, and the segregation and humiliation of women from the world of golf.” WorldDifferentHumorFunnyTogetherBeliefReligiousGolfFolksNaziPersecutionHumiliationGoing To WorkBeardTalibanIntellectualismFolk MusicEthosSubjugationRougeReligious PersecutionDifferent BeliefsKhmer Rouge Author:Bill Bailey
“Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.” MenBelieveHumorFunnyBeliefStarsPaintBillionsWetBenches Author:Steven Wright
“One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. He said, "Didn't you see the stop sign?" I said, "Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read"” BelieveSaidHumorRunningFunnyTimeBeliefYeahDon't BelieveOne TimeCop Author:Steven Wright