“Winter near the shore is cold. The wind kicks up a salty mist and elephant seals come to shore to trumpet and rut and birth their pups. Retired people put sweaters on their lap dogs and drag them down the street on retractable leashes in a nightly parade of doggy humiliation. Surfers don their wetsuits against the chill of storm waves and white sharks adjust their diets to include shrink-wrapped dude-snacks on fiberglass crackers.” PeopleWhiteStreetsDogWindColdBirthWinterWaveStormDietsKicksShoreDragElephantsHumiliationChillShrinksRetiredLapMistSharksSealsTrumpetsParadesSweatersSnacksRutsSurferCrackersLeashesSaltyPupsLap Dogs Author:Christopher Moore
“When I asked my mother where babies came from, she thought I said rabies. She said you get them from being bitten by a dog. The next week, a woman on my block gave birth to triplets... I thought she'd been bitten by a Great Dane.” SaidMotherNextWeekDogBabyBirthBlockNext WeekTripletRabies Author:Woody Allen
“As anyone who's ever adopted a dog will tell you, there's always the fear that one day the birth parents will come scratching at the door.” ParentDoorsDogBirthOne DayAdoptedBirth Parents Author:Dana Gould
“Every creature reproduces after its kind. A dog gives birth to dogs, a cat gives birth to cats, a cow gives birth to cows, a monkey reproduces monkeys and a human reproduces humans. So when God gives birth, what do you think He'll reproduce? gods, of course! When God created Man, He created him in His image and after His likeness. That's why we look like Him; we have two hands the same way He has two hands. We have two legs, one head, one mouth, one nose, two ears and two eyes just like Him.” ThinkingMenWayGivingHumansLooksKindTwoHandsEyeCoursesDogBirthCreaturesMouthsCatEarsLegsNosesCowsMonkeysTwo Hands Author:Chris Oyakhilome
“My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash.” YearsKidsCuttingDogBabyBirthParentingMotherhoodDumbMemorableCordsLeashesBaby BoyObstetricians Author:Joan Rivers
“"I thought this was a cookout. You know, dogs and burgers, Tater Tots, ambrosia salad" Dexter picked up a box of Twinkies, tossing them into the cart. "And Twinkies." "It is... Except that it's a cookout thrown by my mother." "And?" "And my mother doesn't cook." He looked at me waiting. "At all. My mother doesn't cook at all." "She must cook sometimes." "Nope." "Everyone can make scrambled eggs, Remy. It's programmed into you at birth, the default setting. Like being able to swim and knowing not to mix pickles with oatmeal. You just KNOW."” KnowsSometimesAbleMotherWaitingKnowingDogBirthBoxesSettingSettingsCooksThrownEggsSwimSaladDefaultCartsBurgersPicklesOatmealScrambled EggsTotsAmbrosia Author:Sarah Dessen
“She had never realized any love save love as passion. Such love, though it expends itself in generosity and thoughtfulness, though it give birth to visions and to great poetry, remains among the sharpest expressions of self-interest. Not until it has passed though a long servitude, though its own self-hatred, though mockery, though great doubts, can it take its place among the loyalties. Many who have spent a lifetime in it can tell us less of love than the child that lost a dog yesterday.” GivingChildrenLongSelfPassionLostInterestVisionDoubtDogExpressionBirthHatredRemainsLifetimeLoyaltyYesterdayGenerositySelf InterestMockeryServitudeSelf HatredThoughtfulnessGreat Poetry Author:Thornton Wilder
“The wrinkled man in the wheelchair with the legs wrapped, the girl with her face punctured deep with the teeth marks of a dog, the mess of the world, and I see - this, all this, is what the French call d'un beau affreux, what the Germans call hubsch-hasslich - the ugly-beautiful. That which is perceived as ugly transfigures into beautiful. What the postimpressionist painter Paul Gauguin expressed as 'Le laid peut etre beau' - The ugly can be beautiful. The dark can give birth to life; suffering can deliver grace.” MenWorldGivingBeautifulFacesSufferingGirlDarkGraceDogBirthMarkUglyLegsTeethPainterMessWheelchairs Author:Ann Voskamp