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Dark Humour Quotes

Browse 69 quotes about Dark Humour.

Dark Humour Quotes

“Luca knows we're following him." His voice, soft and deep, seemed to roll right through to my bones. "We don't have time for you to shimmy up and down drainpipes like you usually do." My coat dropped in a heap on the floor, and I suddenly felt able to breathe without the hot, sticky weight of the leather clinging to me. Maybe we didn't have time to . . . . "Did you say shimmy?" He nodded. "I never shimmy. I climb." "Then you and I have different views on what climbing is.”

Dark HumourParanormal Romance WerewolvesParanormal Series
Book:Cranberry Blood
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“The corners of his lips picked up. "You really didn't know I've been following you for the last five weeks?" Yeah, please feel free to make me feel stupid for that, Ken doll. I shook my head. "Well, of course not, because if you knew someone was watching you, you probably wouldn't have given yourself a spanking on the roof." And just like that, the man turned the humour back on. Weird. - Chapter 3: Heather and Brendan”

Dark HumourParanormal Romance WerewolvesElizabeth MorganParanormal Series
Book:Cranberry Blood
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“How long are you planning on us sitting up here, kid?" Brendan asked. I looked over at him. He sat still, with his head leant back against the rooftop wall, his eyes closed, his hands resting on his lap. "Sorry, is being here getting in the way of your beauty sleep?" "I don't need beauty sleep, kid. I'm naturally this good-looking." I snorted. "Whatever makes you feel good, Shifter." No point boosting his ego.”

Dark HumourParanormal Romance WerewolvesParanormal Series
Book:Cranberry Blood
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“We’ve all had those nights where drunken sex with a witch in a blood pentagram under a full moon on the roof of your favourite Johannesburg nightclub summons a hard-drinking demon who changes the fate of the human race forever. Right? No? Just me, then?”

PaganMagickTarotDark HumourWiccaCrowleyRock N Roll Thriller
Book:Burning Roses - A decadent tale of sex, drugs, rock n roll & magick
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“Babcock fidgeted with one of his cufflinks while staring down the remaining brokers in his office. He then delivered something akin to a pep talk in a severe tone. "... The world depends on our services. Services that must not be impeded. We don't break our backs producing things that have no real value—food, shelter, clothes ... art. No! We're titans of finance. We move intangible things and ideas around the world on digital platforms. No one else in the world can accumulate as much wealth as we do by simply moving around one and zeros on computers.”

HumorHumourDark HumorStock MarketBrokersDark HumourBeasts Of Success
Book:The Beasts of Success
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“Until you accept that you’ll never get your problem fixed, whatever it is, you’ll be endlessly transferred from department to department until our call center closes. Sometimes you’ll be left on hold even after everyone at the call center has left for the day. Until you get exhausted with our run-around service and give up all hope, you’ll be stuck in The Circle Jerk. Right now, this very minute, you’re in The Circle Jerk, sir. Do you wish to continue circling or are you going to hang up your phone and go watch TV?”

HumorHumourDark HumorBlack HumorDark HumourBeasts Of SuccessBlack HumourCable TelevisionCable CompanyCircle Jerk
Book:The Beasts of Success
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“He tackled a woman's baby carriage. After the seven-month-old baby skidded across the pavement and began bawling his eyes out, Bill Brady started shouting at the toddler, 'What are you, a pussy? Walk it off! Walk it off!' After the mother shouted out her baby's age and how he wasn't able to walk yet, Bill Brady started barking in the vexed mother's face like she was a referee who had made a bad call.”

HumorSportsDark HumorDark HumourBeasts Of Success
Book:The Beasts of Success
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“I bet him and all his Guy brothers had burst through the nightclub entrance, poured an insane amount of alcohol into their systems, and snatched at anything with a pulse that wandered past their sloshed eyes. I bet after all the hoopla subsided, the demented Guys spilled out of the nightclub at some ungodly hour, intoxicated blood pumping, gallivanting around the city like foul beasts seeking their next series of exploitations.”

HumorHumourDark HumorNightclubsDark HumourBeasts Of Success
Book:The Beasts of Success
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