“I'd been on a road trip right out of college, with a buddy of mine. It was uneventful. We didn't get laid. Although one time it was about 800 degrees and we were in Texas. We had shorts on and nothing else and somehow a motorcycle cop pulls up beside me and says, 'Come on, get on it, get on, go, go, go!' So I speeded up and it turns out we're in a huge state funeral. There are about 40 black Cadillacs in a row and then a green van called Mr Greenjeans, with two guys with no clothes in it.” TwoStatesGuyTurnsBlackMinesCollegeHugeDegreesClothesGreenTexasFuneralOne TimeCopVansBuddyMotorcycleShortsRoad TripGetting LaidCadillacsPull UpsTwo Guys Author:John Travolta
“'I'm sorry,' guys are always telling women, 'but I'm just not ready to make a commitment.' Guys are in a permanent state of nonreadiness. If guys were turkey breasts, you could put them in a 350-degree oven on July Fourth, and they still wouldn't be done in time for Thanksgiving.” IfsStillsStatesDoneGuyReadyDegreesCommitmentSorryPermanentBreastsFourthI'm SorryTurkeysJulyNot ReadyOvens Book:Dave Barry's Complete Guide to Guys Source: Dave Barry's Complete Guide to Guys
“I kinda liked ol' Shakespeare and them guys, you know. I went back and got my master's just in case. I thought, if I ever needed it, I'd have the sheepskin to show people no matter how dumb I looked, actually I was about half intelligent. I got the degree to let 'em know I wasn't as dumb as I acted.” PeopleIfsKnowsMatterShowsGuyHalfCasesMastersNeededDegreesIntelligentDumbEms Author:Phil Robertson