“I'd been on a road trip right out of college, with a buddy of mine. It was uneventful. We didn't get laid. Although one time it was about 800 degrees and we were in Texas. We had shorts on and nothing else and somehow a motorcycle cop pulls up beside me and says, 'Come on, get on it, get on, go, go, go!' So I speeded up and it turns out we're in a huge state funeral. There are about 40 black Cadillacs in a row and then a green van called Mr Greenjeans, with two guys with no clothes in it.” TwoStatesGuyTurnsBlackMinesCollegeHugeDegreesClothesGreenTexasFuneralOne TimeCopVansBuddyMotorcycleShortsRoad TripGetting LaidCadillacsPull UpsTwo Guys Author:John Travolta
“A lot of guys have had a lot of fun joking about Henry Ford because he admitted one time that he didn't know history. He don't know it, but history will know him. He has made more history than his critics ever read.” KnowsMadeGuyFunHistoryCriticsOne Time Author:Will Rogers
“As far as I'm concerned, this guy should never play football again. The answer you normally get after a tackle like that is 'he is not the type of guy who does that.' It's like a guy who kills one time in his life - it's enough. You have a dead person. This tackle is absolutely horrendous.” ShouldPersonsDoeEnoughPlayGuyAnswersFootballTypeConcernedManagersSoccerOne TimeThis GuyChairmanType Of Guy Author:Arsene Wenger
“I was always pretty broad. I've had a couple bad experiences. One time, I showed up late for a gig in Brooklyn at an Italian restaurant. I ran on stage, did my show, and then some guy in the audience threatened to kill me because he didn't like my joke. Instead of talking to him, I just ran off stage. And then, because I was late, the owner of the restaurant threatened to kill me. And I was 19 years old and so scared that I almost started crying. But, I've done every gig you can imagine, in every state.” YearsStatesDoneShowsGuyTalkingAudienceImagineStageCryCoupleLateJokesScaredRanRestaurantsOwnersBroadsItalianOne TimeThreatenedKill MeGigsBrooklynBad ExperiencesTalking To Him Author:Nick Swardson
“Rule number one: Why is it that the one time a cute guy talks to you, you have a friend who's in crisis?” GuyNumbersCrisisCuteOne TimeCute Guy Book:The Carrie Diaries (The Carrie Diaries, Book 1) Source: The Carrie Diaries (The Carrie Diaries, Book 1)
“One time we were having dinner and some guy came by and took a potato off of Frank Sinatra's plate. And Frank said, “Hey pal, are you hungry?” The guy says, “yeah.” Frank said, “Sit down.” And he gave him his dinner. I thought for sure there was gonna be trouble from the guys surrounding Frank, but Frank says, “Jeez, relax, the man's hungry.”” MenSaidGuyTroubleDown AndYeahDinnerHungryHeyRelaxOne TimeFrankPlatesPotatoesPals Author:Joey Bishop