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Husband Quotes

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Husband Quotes

“The first thing I do when I come home is check the refrigerator for cats because I'm convinced that if one dies, my husband will hide it in there because I don't cook and so I won't see it. I do drink Cokes, though ,so technically he should hide the corpse in the oven. And now I need to start checking the oven.”

Ifs Needs Should Firsts Home Dies Drink Husband Cat Convinced Checks Cooks My Husband Coming Home Corpses Coke Refrigerators Ovens

Author:Jenny Lawson

“Rush like a river from the highest mountain, drink from the fountain and stop your counting. What kind of wine does he have in his tavern, oh so enchanted and sing like a mad man. Mad with the love of a wife for her husband, child or mother, sister or brother... sing for the Most High, sing for no other. We are all notes in this eternal song, God plays his flute and we all dance along.”

Men Kind Children Doe Play Mother Song Wife Brother Drink Husband Mountain Eternal Highest Rivers Mad Wine Notes Fountain Counting Enchanted Flutes Mad Men Taverns

Author:Trevor Hall

“Every wife ought to answer for her man. If the husband be engaged in a seditious club, or drinks mysterious healths, or be frugal of his candles on a rejoicing night, let her look to him and keep him out of harm's way; or the world will be apt to say, she has a mind to be a widow before her time. She ought, in such cases, to exert the authority of the curtain lecture; and if she finds him of a rebellious disposition, to tame him, as they do birds of prey, by dinning him in the ears all night long.”

Source: The Works of the Right Honourable Joseph Addison: With the Exception of His Numbers of the Spectator

“In the hands of [God's] children, it is food for the hungry, drink for the thirsty, raiment for the naked. it gives to the traveler and the stranger where to lay his head. By it we may supply the place of a husband to the widow, and of a father to the fatherless. We may be a defense for the oppressed, a means of health to the sick, of ease to them that are in pain. It may be as eyes to the blind, as feet to the lame: yea, a lifter up from the gates of death!”

Giving May Mean Children Hands Eye Pain Father Feet Drink Husband Sick Blind Lays Stranger Defense Hungry Naked Ease Gates Oppressed Traveler Widows Thirsty Lame Hands Of God Fatherless

Author:John Wesley

“A little in drink, but at all times your faithful husband.”

Littles Drink Husband All Time Faithful

Author:Richard Steele

“Your husband drinks too much if he says he never drinks alone, but considers the goldfish somebody.”

Ifs Too Much Drink Husband Your Husband Goldfish

Author:Phyllis Diller

“There are battered husbands. Apparently this happens when the woman is real big, the man is very small, and they each drink a quart of whiskey a day.”

Men Real Bigs Happens He Man Drink Husband Whiskey Battered

Author:George Carlin

“An old battleax of a woman said to Winston Churchill, "If you were my husband I would put poison in your tea." Churchill's response, "Ma'am if you were my wife I would drink it.”

Ifs Said Wife Drink Husband Response My Wife Tea Poison My Husband

Author:Winston Churchill

“If you lie to your husband - even about something so banal as how much you drink - each lie is a brick in a wall going up between you, and when he tells you he loves you, it's deflected away.”

Ifs Lying Love You Wall Drink Husband Bricks Your Husband

Author:Mary Karr

“Lady Nancy Astor: Winston, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea. Churchill: Nancy, if I were your husband, I'd drink it.”

Ifs Drink Husband Tea Poison My Husband Your Husband Nancy

Author:Winston Churchill