“I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up.” IfsLooksAgeFunnyNamesMorningPaperPagesWake UpAgingNineGet UpThriveEvery MorningGood MorningEarly MorningStart The DayObituaryHave A Good DayWaking Up In The MorningMorning InspirationalFunny Good MorningGood Morning InspirationalWaking Up Every MorningMorning Routines Author:Benjamin Franklin
“In the 1998 Oscars, I found myself in the bathroom in a stall, next to Tom Selleck. So I leaned over and I said ‘looks like we’re a couple of peeing Toms.’ His angry silence is something I’ll never forget.” LooksSaidFunnyNextFoundForgetSilenceSituationCoupleAngerAngryNever ForgetAwkwardTomsOscarsSilence IsBathroomWordplayFunny JokesAppropriatenessAwkward Situations Author:Tom Hanks
“Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, 'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.'” ShouldLooksChildrenSometimesHumorFunnyPoliticsShould HaveAgingMy ChildrenVirgins Author:Lillian Gordy Carter
“Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving.” LooksSometimesFeelingsEyeFunnyDrivingHis EyesSarcastic Author:David Letterman
“If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there” IfsLooksStillsFunnyHumorousWittyNow And ThenCowboyHerdsOld WestCowboy WisdomCowgirls Author:Will Rogers
“I don't want to get the same looks I give people when they get on a plane holding a baby: "That's a cute baby, just keep walking, keep walking, keep going, keep going.” PeopleWantGivingLooksHumorFunnyBabyWalkingPlanesCuteKeep GoingCute Baby Author:Ellen DeGeneres